The Littlest Tomlinson

Chapter 4: Memories

About a month had passed since Natalie's death, and I think I was coping well with being a single parent. I still missed Nat like crazy, and I tried to pray to her every night.

Whenever I felt like I missed her, I would just listen to the last voicemail she sent me. It said, "Hey Lou! Don't forget to pick up Sam from school! I'm feeling a lot better today, hopefully I can get out of this hospital soon. Visit me soon too! I miss you baby! Call me back, I miss your voice, love you. Give Sam my love too."

I missed her voice so much.

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It was a week before it would've been Natalie's 25th birthday party. If she was still alive, we would be planning it right now. I don't even know what I'm gonna do on that day. That was not only Natalie's birthday, but also the day we met.

I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. Harry knew her before me, and was invited to her 18th birthday party. He could bring a friend so he decided to being me. Harry only being 16 at the time, be being 18, we didn't really know many of Nat's friends.

Then, I saw her.

Natalie. I didn't even know it was her who we were celebrating, I just knew she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her long brown hair, with beautiful blue eyes. Didn't wear too much makeup, but just enough.

"Natalie!" I remember hearing Harry yell, waving her over. She started walking towards us, and I was almost scared to talk I her.

Harry introduced me, and then we made eye contact. It was love at first sight. We hung out the rest of the night, and that's when we shared our first kiss. A kiss i'll never get to experience again.

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I sat on the couch watching tv. I was home all alone, because Sam was at school. A commercial came on for pregnancy tests, which reminded me of when Natalie told me she was pregnant.

When Natalie told me she was pregnant, she was 18, about to be 19. We had been dating a bit more than a year, and we lived together, in the house I'm sitting in right now.

We had always dreamed about started a family together, but not until after marriage. We failed at that.

I had no idea Natalie thought she was pregnant until she told me she was. I was always asleep when se had morning sickness, and I guess she just tried to hide it from me.

One afternoon, Nat called me into the bathroom. I thought it was odd, but I went with it anyway. She didn't say anything, just showed me the test. It showed a '+' sign for positive signaling Natalie was pregnant.

"I'm pregnant." She had finally said. "I'm pregnant!" She repeated smiling this time.

"No, WE'RE pregnant. And we will be the best patents to this little boy or girl ever."

I remember watching tears fall down her face, happy tears of course. "I love you Louis."

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I went back to watching tv. Trying not to become sad again. I can't help but feel like I took Natalie for granted. I never really thought she would ever be gone.

I would give my right arm for a kiss, or even just to talk to Natalie again.

I went to go to the fridge to see what I could eat for lunch. I looked in the cupboards and smiled when I saw Mac and cheese. Mac and cheese was the meal we ate when the boys first met Sam. She was only a few weeks old.

The day they met Sam, they came over in the afternoon, around lunchtime. I remember how happy they all were for me, hugging me, and Natalie. All the boys were really good friends with Nat, especially Harry. He'd known her since they were kids.

I let Harry hold Samantha first. I remember him cooing things like, "Hi Samantha, I'm your uncle Harry. You are the cutest baby I've ever seen."

I smiled at the thought.

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I began to make Mac and cheese. I got out a bowl for me, and then one for Natalie... Why not?

I began to talk to her, "Natalie, I miss you so much. You were my everything."

"Louis?" I heard

"Natalie?" I turned around to see Harry standing there.

"I'm sorry Louis." He put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

"It's okay Haz, I don't know why I expected you to be Natalie.."

"It's just because you miss her. I miss her too. Can I have this bowl if Mac and cheese?"

"It was for Natalie.." I murmured.

"Louis.. Natalie isn't here anymore, you're going to have to except the fact."

"She was sitting right here before you walked in! I know she was.. I could feel her presence."

"I'm sorry Louis. I know how you feel, Natalie was one of my bestfriends, but you need to let her go. You need to accept the fact that Natalie isn't coming back. If you're strong, it will be easier for Sam. Trust me. I know it will be hard, but you need to do it. For yourself."

"You're right, Harry."

"I always am." He winked and gave a cheeky grin.

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-Merri