The Littlest Tomlinson

Chapter 6: I wasn't ready.

Chapter 6:

When we arrived at the party it was pretty crazy. There must have been hundreds of people there. Loud music, alchol, I never realized I missed it this much until now. Minutes after getting there I already had a beer in my hand. I could tell this would be a good night. The only thing that would make it better? A hot girl.

I cleared my mind of memories of Natalie. I even whispered to myself, "She isn't coming back. Move on"

I approached a pretty looking brunette. I tapped on her shoulder.

She turned around quickly, and she smiled. It was a nice, friendly smile. Like Natalie's... No, stop. I have to stop thinking about her.

I was knocked out of my thought when the pretty girl spoke, "Aren't you Louis, from One Direction?"

"That's me!" I kinda yelled over the the loud music.

"Did you want something?" She asked, in the nicest way possible.

I chuckled, "Yeah, you."

She blushed. "You cheeky boy, you don't even know my name."

I smirked. "What's your name then?"

"Natalie."

"Shit." I cursed under my breathe.

"What?"

"I'm so sorry uh Natalie. I have to go."

Tears started to prickle my eyes. What was I thinking? I wasn't ready to move on!

"Wait!" I could hear her yell as she ran after me. Fuck, she was going to see me cry.

I got outside the house, and then she turned me around and looked me in the eye.

"Hey, what's wrong? I know we just met, but you can talk to me."

She brushed away the tears on my face.

"You seem like a really nice girl, and I wish I could get to know you better, but, uh.." I didn't know how to say 'You have the same name as my ex girlfriend who's dead'

She noticed I was struggling, "Its okay Louis, you can tell me. I promise I won't judge or anything."

I sighed, "Well.. My ex girlfriends name was Natalie... And well.. She died of cancer about 8 months ago." As I said that the tears came back rolling down my face.

"Oh my god. I think I read about that in a magazine. How could I forget? I'm so sorry. I can't imagine. Don't you have a daughter too?" She looked at me with sympathy.

"Yes. This is my first time getting out since Nat died. You were the first girl I hit on. Is it a sign you have the same name? No, I'm stupid. Sorry."

"No, you're not stupid. Maybe it is a sign. Your ex girlfriend is looking down on you and it seems she's jealous. Maybe you're ready to move on, but it seems she's not ready. She's looking down on you, I'm sure of it."

When she finished talking I saw Harry come outside. "Louis? Are you okay?"

"Harry, take me back to the hotel."

I said goodbye to the nice girl, and she gave me her number. Maybe I will call her sometime. On the ride back I explained everything that happened to Harry.

"I'm sorry Lou. This is my fault."

"No Haz, you were just trying to get my mind of things. It worked, for a little bit."

It was 1 am, so I decided I would let Sam sleep and leave her in the hotel room with Tom, Lou, and Lux. I'd see her in the morning.

Before I went to bed, I tried to talk to Nat. I hope he could hear me.

"Hey Nat, how's heaven? Probably a whole lot better now you're up there. I'm sorry for hitting on a girl tonight. Thought I was ready, I obviously wasn't. I feel like this is all a nightmare, and soon I'll wake up to you yelling at me for sleeping in too late." I laughed, "I even miss you yelling at me. Never thought I'd say that, but I do. I listen to your voice on the last voicemail you sent me all the time. It makes me think about how hopeful you always were. I love that about you. Heck, I loved everything about you. Sam misses you. I can tell. Everyone misses you. Harry misses you the most, after Sam and I of course. Thanks for looking over me." Unwanted tears started rolling down my cheeks, "I love you Natalie. Wanna know a secret? This kills me the most." By now I was sobbing, "Right before you got diagnosed with cancer, I planned to ask you to marry me. I still have the ring. I'm sorry Natalie I should've married you sooner. I'm an idiot. Goodnight Nat, Love you."

I laid in the hotel bed and cried myself to sleep. Why me? Why Natalie? Why us? I soon drifted off into a restless sleep.