Teenagers, Love and Pregnancy

Chapter 9

I felt myself melt into Kendall's kiss. He raised a wet hand and let it run down my rain-and-tear-soaked face, pushing a mess of soppy bangs away from my face and brushing them behind my ear as we continued to kiss. Cold raindrops were pelting my body, but I felt safe and warm in Kendall's grip. Kissing him felt good and familiar, like a huge part of me had been missing for the last year.

"Come inside," he said in my ear. "And we'll get you dried off."

I followed Kendall inside his house, up his stairs, and into his room.

"My parents aren't home," he said as he opened the bedroom door. I followed him in, feeling a little nervous. The last time I was here, I got knocked up.

"Go ahead and sit down," he said gesturing toward my bed. I must have looked pretty nervous, because he rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Chill out," he said with a chuckle. "You're just sitting there while I find you something dry to wear."

I sat on Kendall's bed, still feeling tense. I tried to distract myself by running my eyes over the posters for rock bands he kept on his walls. Even though I'd seen them a million times when we were dating, I still found myself entertained by them. Kendall ducked inside his closet to find me a change of clothes. He emerged a few minutes later holding an oversized T-shirt with the logo of the band Kiss on the front. He motioned for me to change in the closet. I took the shirt, went into the closet, and changed. Thankfully, the shirt went down well past the middle of my thighs, so I didn't have to worry about finding a pair of pants. I emerged from the closet feeling much drier, but still freezing cold.

"Come here," Kendall said. He was lying on top of his made bed, wrapped in a blanket.

"Kendall, I don't know if --"

"I could only find one blanket," he said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes. I was cold, and I did need to talk to him. This looked like it was going to be the only way. I hesitantly climbed onto the bed and let Kendall wrap the blanket (and his arms) around me. I tried to ignore how good he smelled, how strong his arms were, and how all this felt so. . .right. He pulled me close, and I had no choice but to fold into him, feeling his body outline mine. Again, I fought how strongly I felt.

"I don't get it," I said. "This morning you seemed so. . .against me having this baby. And now here we are. . ."

"Cuddling?"

"Yeah. Cuddling."

"Well Cameron, we ARE cold, you know." Even though I had my back to him, I could hear the cheeky grin in his voice.

I waited for him to answer my statement.

"I guess I've been treating you the way I have because I wasn't ready," he finally said.

"To be a dad?"

"Well, yeah. But I also wasn't ready for you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, when you pulled me aside at graduation, I'd been hoping you'd want to talk about. . .us. I mean, I knew you and that Joey guy had broken up, so I thought maybe you wanted to give us a second shot."

There was silence. All I could think about was how much I wished he'd pull me closer again.

"And then you told me I was going to be a father, and come on, I was scared senseless. But that wasn't even the scariest part. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was still a little in love with you. And let's face it Cam -- you're a force of nature. Even if we didn't get back together, just being around you. I was terrified. So I shut you and this baby and everything else out. And I'm sorry."

There was another long pause as I rolled over onto my other side, so I was face-to-face with Kendall. Our noses were pressed together, and I could feel his breath on my face, warm and sweet. He let a single finger slide down the side of my body and back up. The feeling was driving me crazy.

"But the scariest part of all is right now," he whispered with a small smile.

"What is that?" I replied in an equally low voice.

"Because I'm realizing that I still love you."

I didn't say anything at first.

"I love you, Cameron Barone," he said. He crashed his lips into mine and we kissed passionately.

"I love you too," I mumbled in response. As soon as I said it, my stomach dropped in terror. Did I really love Kendall? The very thought of it terrified me.