Teenagers, Love and Pregnancy

Chapter 24

I spent five more days in the hospital, which meant that I missed Joey's funeral. I begged every doctor and nurse who would listen to release me so I could go, but they wouldn't have it. They said that I kept slipping in and out of consciousness, and if nothing was keeping my "most basic body functions" in line, my baby would be at risk.

I learned pretty quickly that that was doctor-speak for "If you don't stay hooked up to these life-giving machines, your baby will die inside of you."

From the way it sounds, you might think that being wide awake one minute and then out cold the next would be miserable, but in reality, it was nice. When I was awake, I had to face the guilt: knowing that Joey was dead, that it was all my fault, and that I could have stopped him from dying. But when I was out, the only thing I knew was darkness and peace.

The worst times of all were right after I woke up. First, I would notice either mom, John, Kel, a nurse, or any combination of the four somewhere near me. That part was alright. But then reality would sink it, and I would instantly remember that Joey died miserable and it was all my fault.

On my sixth day in the hospital, I managed to stay awake all day, and was eating solid food and drinking water from a glass without any help from the IV. After I walked up and down the hallways of the hospital without any trouble, I was given an ultrasound, and when it was determined that my son was completely fine, the doctor came in and told me I could go home as long as I stayed on bed rest until the baby was born.

"Just two weeks, Cam," John said as he put his arm around me and we walked out the sliding glass doors at the front of the hospital with Mom and Kelly behind us. "And your son will be born, and everything will be okay again."

I didn't think anything would be okay ever again, but I didn't have the heart to tell that to John.