Secret (Alec Lightwood)

Chapter 29

That night, I'm getting ready to go to sleep when there's a slight knock on the door and Alec's in the doorway.

"Hey," he says as he looks up at me.

I look down at the ground, refusing to meet his eyes. "Hey."

"I totally get it if the answer to this question is no, but are we still gonna share a room like we talked about?"

I sigh. "If we are, we need to have a talk first."

He closes the door. "I'm so sorry-"

I look up at him. "Do you not understand what happened to me? You broke my heart, it's still broken."

"I know it was a bitch move-"

"It was worse than that. Alec, I almost killed myself in that alley where Valentine found me."

"Don't do that over me."

"I think losing everything is a perfectly good reason."

"Do I really mean that much to you?"

"Alec you mean the world to me. Izzy and Jace, yeah I love them like family but it's you I care about most. You're all I have, and I lost you."

"But you have me back."

"Why'd you do it?"

He sighs. "My parents were in the Circle. I wanted to restore honor to my family and run the Institute."

"Even if it meant losing me."

"I wasn't thinking clearly."

"No, you weren't. You wrecked a heart that was already broken beyond repair."

"But do you know what I was thinking after I did it?"

"I'm sorry I can't read your fucking mind, Alec."

He grabs my hands and lifts my face so I'm looking him in the eyes. "As soon as I saw the tears forming in your eyes, I regretted doing it. I didn't think about it. I'd promised over and over that I'd never hurt you, and it was in that moment I knew I'd broken the most important promise I'd ever made. The only one that truly mattered to me. I watched you as you walked away after you told me you're pregnant, and all I could think of was how I'd just wrecked the Lightwood name. We need someone to pick it up again. Someone like you."

"Is that what this is about?"

"Absolutely not."

"Then how did breaking up with me wreck your family honor?"

"Because I was leaving a woman I love heartbroken, and my own child fatherless."

"And why do you think I can fix your honor? Because I'm the best Shadowhunter in the world? If that's what this is about-"

"That's not what it's about at all. I know you can do it because you're you. You can fix anything."

"So this is just for me to restore your family honor."

"No, me wanting you back has nothing to do with that. I want you back because I love you. I don't care if it somehow just brought more shame to my family, I'd do it anyways. I need you. I need you more than anything."

I sigh. "I'm still pissed at you."

"You're right to be angry with me, I was a total ass."

"But," I sigh, "I do love you. And I do want to marry you. And I am staying with you."

"I know I don't deserve it-"

"You don't, after what you did. But I do. I deserve to be with the guy I love, with all I've been through. I deserve to be happy. Plus, the baby deserves it too. He deserves a father."

"You know the gender already?"

"I'm just guessing, it's too early to know. So for now, I'm just gonna say he." I put my hand on my stomach and sigh. "I really wish there was something I could do to make the baby develop faster, I can't fight demons if I'm pregnant. I can't fight Valentine, I can't train, I can't do anything but sit and wait around."

"Maybe we can talk to Magnus..."

"I doubt a warlock and make a baby develop and then induce labor."

"They're capable of more than you think."

I sigh. "Well, I guess we're making a trip to see a warlock."

**A/N hey guys! So, I was not thinking when I decided to make Charlotte pregnant because though the baby is going to be important to the story, she can't do anything if she's pregnant. So, this is my way of speeding through it, sorry