The Pursuit of Camila Cabello

Chapter Five: Reconciliation

 The lake was frozen and so was Lauren. She was sitting on the pier, legs dangling off as the cold seeped into her bones. After the initial cold had set in, her body seemed to go numb and she didn't care much for the cold anymore.

Or maybe she was too distracted by her own thoughts to pay attention to her icy flesh.

The winter air had frosted over the insides of her lungs, but did little to ease her hyperventilation. She was sure her lips were blue to match her fingers and toes. She feared moving in case she broke one of her stiff, frozen bones.

She had thought of everything she wanted to say to Camila, but as soon as she her footsteps on the wooden planks, her mind went blank. Her back was towards her but she could feel her eyes on her. Her heart was racing a-mile-a-minute, pumping fresh, hot blood through her veins.

She doesn't remember how long Camila stood behind her, only that she eventually said, "Hey."

Lauren wanted to laugh at the simplicity of it all. For three years, she had imagined what this meeting would be like. Most involved the two running towards each other, only to embrace as lovers after whispered confession. Some had started with fighting and verbal spats. But never did she think they'd start off with that.

Instead, she mumbles out, "Hey."

"We didn't really get a chance to talk at the party." Camila says and Lauren can still recognise the nervous titters in her speech like they were her own, "Not after..."

"After I had stormed out like a psycho?" Lauren finished for her, grimacing at her behaviour. She should have handled that more tactfully, like an adult. Instead, she threw a tantrum like toddler.

Camila didn't say anything. What could you say, after all? The situation was already so muddled.

"You love him." Lauren says suddenly, thinking of blue-eyed men and their smug smirks. It's not a question, more of a statement. But she wouldn't admit that some part of her ached for Camila to deny this claim.

But Lauren was destined to suffer, so Camila answered, "I do."

Lauren could hear the smile in her voice and that sickened her even more. To know that someone else could make Camila so happy, when that job used to belong to her, made her insides roll. But she cherished the thought that at least she was happy.

"Does he make you happy?" She asked, eyes still trained on the frozen lake. She already knew the answer, but she needed to hear it from her.

"More than I thought possible."

It's the wistful tone that Camila adopts which sends Lauren into silence. She wondered if Camila ever talked about her that way. If she ever loved her as strongly as she loved this man.

"You're still in love with me," Camila asked, softly, as to not frighten Lauren, "aren't you?"

Lauren clenched her jaw so tight she'd feared she had broken it. Still, her heart swelled as she answered through gritted teeth, "How could I fall out of love with someone like you?"

Camila scoffed, "Very easily. Have you forgotten what I did to you? I ruined our relationship because I let fame get to my head. I pushed you away because I honestly thought I was better than you — that I deserved better than you!"

"You weren't wrong." Lauren says, rising to her feet. Her knees cracked when she stood to her full height but she doesn't notice. What had her attention was Camila. She seemed even more beautiful now, eyes blazing with anger and her hair ruffled in the breeze. Lauren notes that she had grown several inches, now staring down at Camila.