Never Forget

Chapter 9 (Krista)

Church. I'm going to church. I never thought in my life I'd ever be going to a church. J must be something special because I probably wouldn't do this for anyone else. I stared at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a Navy blue a line dress that came right above my knees with black flats. My hair was still pretty straight from the day before. I put on some make up but not a lot. I was freaking out. I called J. He picked up after 5 rings. "Hey J. Sorry to bother you but I'm freaking out."
"Ummm-"
"What if my dress is too short? Am I allowed to show my shoulders? Are there gonna be a lot of people there? Are they gonna-"
"Kris. Calm down. Everything's gonna be okay. I'm sure you look beautiful. My church is very loving and judgement free. They'll love you. I promise."
I take a deep breath. "Okay"
"Alright. Come outside in exactly 10 minutes."
"Okay. I'll see you in a few."
"Alright bye."
I hung up the phone and took some deep breaths. Today is gonna be a good day. Everything's gonna be okay. I think to myself to try and calm myself down.

I went outside 10 minutes later and J pulled up. I open the door and go into the car. "Good morning." He says. "Morning." I say.
We drove to the church in comfortable silence. It was only 5 minutes from my apartment. When we pulled up I examined the outside of the church. It looked very plain. It was slightly bigger than the other surrounding buildings but that was around it. I took a deep breath and came out of the car.

J led me inside the building. As soon as I stepped in it was amazing. I heard beautiful music playing throughout the building. People were laughing and smiling. There were a whole bunch of different types of people. The foyer of the church was filled with life and excitement. They had a little store where they sold books and t-shirts. I spotted Mrs. Anderson a few yards away Levi was right behind her. She spotted me and J. "Hey darling" she smiled and gave me a hug.
"Hi" I smiled and hugged her back.
"I'm so glad you joined us this morning. You're going to have a great time."
"I'm glad I'm joining you guys too."
She smiled and said "Well I better get this one to Children's church. I'll see you both in service." She walked away

"She's so nice." I say.
"Yeah. Most people at this church are." J says.
"Wow."
"You're surprised?"
"Yeah...I used to know theses "Christians" in high school. They weren't too nice."
"Ohhh. They were the type that thought they were better than everyone else?"
"Oh my gosh! Yes! It was so annoying."
"Yeah it really is. Oh...I want you to meet someone."
"Uhh okay."

J led me through huge double doors. There were rows and rows of these chairs that were cushioned. Then there was a huge stage at the front with instraments on it and a podium in the center. There were only a few people in the room. There were some people standing near the stage. J and I walked toward the stage.
"Tori" J called. A darker skinned girl with an afro and glasses turned around. She had on black dressy joggers with a white v-neck shirt and a purple blazer. She was about the same height as me and she was extremely pretty. "Hey Joshy." She said and smiled. "Hey. I'd like you to meet my friend Krista. Krista this is Tori. She plays the keyboard, the guitar, and she sings a little."
I reached out to shake her hand "Impressive." I said. "What's impressive is your dress. It looks so good on you." Tori said.
"Thank you. Your outfit is pretty fleeky yourslef."
"Thanks girl." She said. She turned to J. "I like her, keep her around." She winked at us and chuckled. "I've got to go but I'll see you guys later." Tori walked away. I like her. I think me and her are going to be good friends.

I turned to J and he looked so happy and in his element. He's so comfortable here. I hope one day I'll be comfortable like that here or anywhere for that matter. He looked back at me and smiled. "Where do you wanna sit?" He asks me. "Anywhere is fine." I reply. People are starting to fill into the room. We decide on sitting in the middle section closer to the front. We sit and then J starts looking around. He seems to have found what he was looking for. "I'll be right back." He says and gets up.

When he comes back he is holding Haley. "Krista!!" She screams from J's arms. "Haley!" I say. J sits her right in between us. "Her parents said it was okay if she sat with us. Apparently she would not stop talking about you last night and this morning." J says.
"Awww that's so sweet." I say. I reach out and grab her little hand. "Wasn't Levi's birthday party so much fun?" I ask her. "Yes. You were my favorite part." Haley smiles brightly at me. We talk and giggle until service starts.

There are colorful lights on the stage and a really cool fog machine. A group of people head onto the stage, each of them having their own potions. I saw Tori standing at the keyboard in the left corner of the stage. The last person to get on stage was a man. He looked about 25-years-old and had on purple skinny jeans, a black long sleeved shirt and a grey vest. Everyone on stage seemed to be wearing purple and black with other neutral colors. He grabbed a cordless mic and the musicians began to play. "How are you guys doing this beautiful Sunday morning?" He asked the crowd. The responded with a series of yeahs and woos. "Will you wonderful people please stand and join me while we praise our God." He said. Everyone stood and began clapping their hands and swaying to the music even though no one started singing yet. When he did start singing, the lyrics were unfamiliar to me but the sounded like a lot of the pop songs I heard on the radio. They sang a few upbeat songs and there were people jumping and dancing to it like we were at a concert but it was different. It seemed to be more meaningful.

The upbeat songs came to an end and the music became softer and slower. The man began speaking into his mic. "Sometimes we, as humans, make mistakes. Guilt always tries to find its way into our lives. God's intentions were not to have us live our life in guilt and shame, He wants us to live a life free from those things. He wants us to experience His love and many times we have to remind ourselves that no matter how many times we mess up or how bad things might get, God loves us and He will never stop loving us." After that he sings this song. I don't recognize it but I catch on pretty easily.

He loves us oh how
He loves us oh how he loves us oh how he loves

He loves me oh how
He loves me oh how
He loves me oh how he loves

I look over at J and he has his hands lifted high above his heads and he's singing to the sky. Even little Haley has her hands lifted and her eyes closed. For a while I felt uncomfortable. You don't belong here. You're nothing like them. Sasha is dead because of you and you think that God will love you after that? I tried my best to shake those thoughts but it seemed like nothing would get rid of them.