Learn to love again

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Jay's p.o.v

I quickly shut the door behind me and snuck up to my room. I was trying to be careful of the boards creak. Something moved and there was a loud creak. I froze in fear of being caught sneaking in when I was supposed to be asleep. Justin and I had gone out to the beach to watch the spider crabs, and believe me I don't even know why I went. It's so gross having them crawl over your feet. It gives me the willies just thinking about it. After having stood there in between my door way and my grandparents' room I heard the soft sound of snoring, so I knew the creak I'd heard earlier must have been gram rolling over. When I got to my room I twisted the door knob, and it gave a soft click. I paused just for a moment before proceeding into my room. Once the door had closed I flipped the switch, blinking feverishly until the dots had gone. Then I sat down at my desk and looked around the room. The walls had changed from their old and drab pink to a bright purple. Of course Justin had picked it out. In the last week we had completely redone my room. New paint, bed spread, lamps, new rugs we'd even gotten a new desk. I told Justin I'd pay him and my grandparents back, but they'd have none of it and said it was a gift, but it still made me feel bad.

As I sat at my desk I did something the shrink had first told me to do when my dad had died, but I had been too upset to do it until now. Where do I start?

Dear Dad,

No, scratch that. That's way too formal. Oh, I got it!

Hi Dad,

I know it's been a long time since we talked and you're probably looking down in heaven going 'What did I do wrong?' But you didn't do anything. Yeah, I know I kind of took a turn for the worst, but I don't think anyone really gave up on me, but me. So this summer, I have to admit I was happy to be gone. I mean mom definitely needs help. And this summer I've been trying to forget about her and the pain, for at least a little while but she keeps calling and texting and all it does is make me feel bad about myself. But I'm getting better with Justin's help, I really am.

Your little BLUE JAY <3

After I wrote it, I folded the crimson paper and tucked it into the drawer. Over the next few days I spent my night similar to that night. I would write to dad, and it made me feel like I still had a little piece of him with me. I told him all about what Justin and I did. How he took me fishing and how I found out that I get sea sick. About how we spent one afternoon redoing my room but got just as much paint on each other as the wall. In a course of two weeks the drawer was bursting at the seams with letters to my dad. I had decided that when I got home I was going to put them in a box and place them on his grave, since that was as close to mailing them to him as I was going to get.

After finishing my most recent letter I placed it on top of the last one. With a brief look at the clock, I realized just how much time had passed. I peeled off my t-shirt and shorts. I threw on my PJ's, the flannel was soft and warm against my bare skin. Slipping into bed, I replayed the day I met Justin and how far we had come since then. I drifted into a quiet sleep, I felt the smile on my face as I fell asleep.

BANG! THUD!

I woke up with a start, my heart was poundin. I reached towards the night stand for my glasses. As the room came into focus, so did the pounding. It was coming from the door. Groggily, I slid out of my warm bed and dragged my lead like feet towards the pounding on the other side of the door. As I opened the door and tried to peer out I was greeted with another body slamming into my own. Since I was caught off guard and half asleep I didn't have time to grab anything and I landed on my back with a loud thud. As did the other body, but its fall has become cushioned by me. I slowly opened my eyes one by one. I found them gazing into none other than Justin's chocolate brown eyes. I felt a small smile playing at the corners of my lips.