Forget (A Maze Runner/Newt Fanfiction)

23-Attack and Release

Ky's POV:

Madison shakes her head.

"I'm gonna kill Gally..." she says angrily, standing to her feet.

"No no no! Please don't! If he ever finds out that I told anyone, he'll...he'll..."

My mind starts going superspeed with what he might do and suddenly I can't breathe. My body start to shake violently. Panic overwhelms me. My brain shuts down. I faintly hear Maddie trying to talk to me but it doesn't really register.

The only thing I catch is, "I'm going to go get help!"

I try to tell her not to, but nothing comes out. I lay on the ground, hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably. Waves of raw panic beat at me like a tsunami, showing no mercy. I feel dizzy and my heart beats extremely fast in my chest like a big drum. My chest is constricted making it hard to breath.

Suddenly, there are soft hands on my trembling face.

"Hey, Ky! Ky listen to me! Breathe. Breathe! I'm here, it's okay!" Newt's accented voice penetrates the darkness.

My eyes focus on his face.

"Yeah, that's right, focus on me. Keep breathing. It's okay, you're safe. I'm here", Newt comforts me.

I slowly take in one deep breath. Then another. Newt cradles me to his chest. Soon my body stops shaking and the panic is gone.

"Hey, why were you having a panic attack?" Newt asks quietly.

I look up at him.

"How did you know that's what it was?"

"Because I've had one before, love", he sighs, softly.

I nod my head, snuggling closer to his warm body.

"So why were you having a panic attack?" he asks again.

"I can't...I can't tell you", I say, shaking my head.

"Ky, if you don't tell him, I will", Madison pipes up.

I stay quiet for a moment, thinking.

"Okay", I whisper. "Tell him."

Newt looks to Madison. Tears fall down my face as Madison recaps what I told her earlier. When she gets to the part about my self harm, Newt grabs my shoulders and pushes me away. In one swift motion, he pulls up my sleeve and looks at what I've done to myself. I hold back a sob as his face practically drips disappointment and sadness.

"Ky....why would you...." Newt looks up at me.

"I don't know, and I don't expect you to understand either," I whimper.

"I do understand..." he whispers. "I've been there too." He says to me in his mind. My eyes flit down to the cloth bracelet he always wears on his wrist. "I just want to know why, love."

"I just....I didn't know how else to cope. Gally said if I told anyone he would hurt me...or you, and I couldn't let that happen. So I kept it to myself", I say.

Newt is at a loss for words. Madison just stands to the side, awkwardly watching. I gulp, waiting for Newt's reaction.

"I know, Newt I know. I'm a shucking slinthead. I messed up. I let you down. You hate me. I'm ugly and stupid, I know all that-"

Newt cuts me off.

"What? You think I hate you? Ky, I don't bloody hate you! I am utterly in love with you. I am mesmerized by your piercing blue eyes and your contagious smile. You're not messed up at all. You're bloody perfect just the way you are. You didn't let me down at all. I am disappointed that you felt that you needed to do this, but not by anything else. You're not stupid. You are honestly the smartest person in this hellhole. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all bloody doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever bloody have, and I am in love with you, Ky."

I smile.

"You just said 'bloody' four times, Newt", I say. "And I love you too."

Newt smiles and pulls me to him, kissing me gently. My hands find his hair and his hands go to my waist. His warm mouth and soft lips send a current running through my body.

Madison clears her throat, interrupting our kiss. Newt and I turn to her.

"Um, guys. So what are we gonna do about Gally?" she asks.

Newt turns back to me.

"I've got it under control", he says, smirking.

(A/n): Did anyone catch the TFIOS reference?

Word count: 766