Shining Armour.

Two

I was in a bad mood the rest of the day after me encounter with Cassie at lunch. She is so fucking annoying. Why did she have to sneak attack me right then and there? I saw her again after school, she decided to take the bus home, probably to traumatize me even more. She sat down the back with Myah, and they bragged about their sleepover. I blocked them out by popping my head phones into my ears.

Once I was home, to my small three bedroom house that I shared with my mom and three brothers. (Two which had sleep-outs) I threw my bag into my bedroom door and trotted into the kitchen. "How was your day?" Mom asked, pouring hit water into a mug.

"Good," I lied. Good was always my answer. Why would she care what it was really like? "I got a merit on my maths practice paper." Not that she would have any idea what that was.

"Good." She nodded then walked from the kitchen to the lounge. I ramaged through the cupboards trying to find something to eat, before settling on an apple. I swiftly walked to my bedroom, pulled out my phone and scrolled through Facebook.

My mind kept travelling to Cassie and what she blurted out to me in the hallway. She loved me? She sure as hell never showed it. I mean, she did in a friend way. I admitted my feelings to her and she stomped on them like the meant nothing. She shut me down, never spoke to me again, then I caught her grinding on up against Tyra at that stupid house party I was invited to. Even then, I tried to speak to her and she embarrassed me in front of the whole crowd, basically telling everyone I was a lesbian.

The more I think about her, the more hurt I become. I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone else. She was my one true love, my first love, and now she's nothing but memories. I love her, still. I always will, but she shattered my heart and I feel nothing for her aside from feeling sorry for her... For being such a self centered bitch.

I hope she never finds someone who truly loves her as much as I do. I highly think that's possible, anyway. She's had boyfriends, she still flirts with boys, but yet I know she is nothing but a lady loving pixie who is hiding deep down behind some wreckless slut.

Maybe one day, I will love someone who isn't her.

But for now, my heart will just keep breaking.

It was dark now, I hadn't even eaten dinner because I was too exhausted from today. I changed into my pajamas, turned my light off and snuggled back under my duvet. I was on my phone once again, but played soft, quiet music instead. Every time I try to fly, I fall without my wings. I feel so small, I guess I need you baby. The song lyrics broke through me like glass slicing my skin. Every lyric was taken to heart and I felt myself sobbing.

I miss her,

I miss everything about her.

Her blonde hair that I weaved through my fingers, and her ocean blue eyes that looked so deeply into my own. Her laugh that was contagious, but also loud and annoying. Her hands that would burn holes through my skin by just a soft touch. Her voice, raspy and powerful when she whispered things so quietly in my ear. The way she used to wrap her arms around my waist and rest her head on my shoulder. The way she used to drape her legs over mine when we curled up on the couch. The way we slept so close, our body's igniting off one another.

Everything I once hated,

I now craved.

What have I done? You seem to move on easy. More tears fell freely from my eyes, I sniffed, wiping the salty water from my face. Please forgive me.