Shining Armour.

Five ~ Cassie

Love is a marathon, not a sprint. You have to build the love, keep the love and try not to let the love go, not race to the love point and once you reach it, let go. My love for Rosa was confusing. I mean, did I love her? I missed her of course and I love her dearly as a friend, but do I love her as much as she admitted to loving me?

I have never seen myself loving another girl, well, I dreamt of it but I never thought in reality it would happen. I've loved boys before, but I never got the tingling feeling I got around Rosa. She made me feel emotions I have never felt before.

I sat in the dark career room, waiting for the door to bust open and for Rosa to walk in. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I know I needed to set things straight. I know damn right she has another girl she has been talking to, she is always on her phone, and she hides it when Natasha tries to look.

My heart dropped when the door slowly opened and the short brown headed girl walked in, biting her lower lip. She took a deep breathe and closed the door behind her, then sat down on the seat directly next to me. She wasn't going to say anything, so I suppose I could start.

"You have a new girl?" Way to start the conversation Cassidy.

"What's it to you if I do?" She snapped. Back to her snapping, great.

"I," I took a deep breathe then shook my head. "Don't know." I sighed. She is really going to make this a difficult conversation for the both of us.

"Look, why did you call me in here? I have better things to do then sit here and listen to you tell me all about Tyra and how excellent in bed she is." She spat. Sassy.

I don't know why everything is turned around on Tyra. I get that Rosa hates her, and that she thinks I made out with her, which I did, but I deny. But she doesn't need to make our relationship all about Tyra.

As far as I know, Rosa is jealous of Tyra, and she admitted that herself. Not that she should be jealous of her because Rosa is just as perfect in my eyes. "I wanted to have a civil conversation."

"Well, go." She folded her arms and sat back in her seat. I could feel sweat forming on my forehead. Oh man.

"I did love you, and I will admit that until I die-"

"To who? Yourself, me or the world?" She snarled.

I rolled my eyes, then continued. "But I don't want to show it because I am scared of how the rest of the school will react to me... Having feelings for you."

"You know. If you were in love with me or still are, or whatever the fuck you're trying to tell me, you shouldn't care what others think." Why is she so right with everything?

"I know-"

"Do you? Because it seems like you don't know anything. At all."

"Whats that supposed to mean?"

"Do you know how fucking bad you hurt me, Cassie? Do you know how bad you humiliated me? I'm not just going to jump right back into your arms and forgive you." She stood up, about to walk out.

"I understand that. I am sorry for hurting you. Me and Tyra did not hook up, at all. You know I wouldn't do that to you." I stood up as well, standing inches away from her. Her brown eyes were slicing straight through mine, it was almost painful looking into hers. "We were just talking, I've told you this. Why cant you just believe me?"

"Why should I believe anything that you say?" Now shes the one testing me. Great.

"Because you love me."

"I don't-"

"Yes, you do." I stood forward, leaning closer into her. "Get rid of this other girl you've got." I whispered.

"Get fucked." She chuckled. She rolled her eyes and turned towards the door before I grabbed her wrist, then pushed her against the wall.

"I would, but only by you." I whispered into her ear.

Her body was reacting to mine already. She was heavily breathing, and had finally relaxed instead of being so tense. I placed my hands on her hips, making sure she couldn't escape from my touch. "I know you want me back." My lips met her neck, where she was most sensitive. "And I want you back-"

"Cassie stop." She tried to sound forceful, but it came out more as a moan. Her hand tried to push me away, which was stopped by mine grabbing it and holding it above her. Much like when the stupid bitch Mel caught us. I continued nibbling at her neck, until she pushed me back with her other hand. "I have a girlfriend." She frowned. "I don't want you, at all. You fucking hurt me, you destroyed me, I can't even fucking look at you the same anymore."

Maybe she really doesn't want me back. Maybe I've completely wasted my time by bringing her in here, and trying to solve the tension between us. How fucking stupid am I? Of course she doesn't want me back, I'm a walking fucking disaster. I've cause her enough pain, and I'm doing absolutely nothing to fix any of it. I stepped back, my head dropping to look at the floor. She fixed her top, then left the room, slamming the door behind her.

Fucking hell Cassie, you've done it again.

...

I arrived back into the common room, where a majority of our year group was. Except for Rosa and Natasha, who would've gone down the street as the do every day. My eyes found Myah, who was sitting on the couch with Sam. They were talking about something interesting, by the look on Sams face, and the smile on Myahs. I decided not to interrupt, and instead, sat on the couch opposite them, usually where Rosa and her friends would be sitting. I pulled out my phone and began scrolling through facebook, until the door swung open.

Natasha, the loud mouth bitch she was, followed by the perfect sapphic goddess walked into the room, and stopped as they saw that I was sitting in the seat they had claimed. Do I move? Do I stay? Fuck Cassie. I was frozen, staring at Rosa, who was looking at Natasha, who was darting her eyes between Rosa and I. "Cassie, what're you doing?" Natasha finally asked.

"Chilling." I smirked, as she walked past and sat down on the other side of me. "Should I move?"

"Nah, you're allgood. You're in her seat anyways, not mine." Natasha sat down, then started gazing at the boy next to her. What the hell is with those two? I looked back to Rosa who was standing in the middle of the room, eating licorice and staring at her friends who were talking to one another. She didn't look at all phased that I was in her seat, or the fact that she was standing in the way of anyone who wanted to come in and out the door. I was hoping like hell she would just sit down next to me. Her body near mine would be enough to make sparks fly.

"Rosa, you gonna sit?" Myah laughed from opposite me. I turned my head back to Rosa who let out the most adorable, cheeky smile, before walking toward the two, and plonking down between them. Fuck. Why couldn't she just sit down next me, instead of ruining their personal conversation. Myras eyes met mine, she let out a small smile, before returning her attention to Rosa.

I miss her.

Fuck, I miss her.

I miss everything about the petite girl. I miss her annoying me, and I miss her blaming me for everything. I miss being the reason for her smile, her laugh and all round happiness. Now, I'm nothing but the reason for her tears, her hurt and her pain. I never, ever wanted to cause her pain in her life. She doesn't deserve it. She deserves none of the pain shes been through in her life. I should've been there to stop it all, or at least to help her get through it all, instead of creating more fucking drama that she can't cope with.

I'd do anything to have that girl as my best friend again. Our relationship was better than any relationship I've had with any of my friends. She is one of a kind, irreplaceable, and someone I want to be around every second of every day. She is one of those girls who would be serious one minute, but changes the next into some uncontrollable almost child like creature. I loved that about her. I love everything about her.

I'm so fucking in love with her.

I need her.