Undeserving Love

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nag-ayos muna ako ng sarili bago lumabas ng kotse. Kakarating ko lang dito sa Soiree bar kung saan ako ininvite nung kapwa ko model.

Nagretouch lang ako dahil sa may lintek na luha nga na pumatak sa mata ko kanina and nagsuklay.

When i finished retouching ay bumaba din ako agad.

Pagkapasok ko sa bar ay medyo madami dami din ang tao, at sobrang ingay ng music.

It's 9pm na din kasi kaya for sure madami na talagang nagpaparty dito.

I'm searching for where that Shiela girl, i think when someone called me.

"France." Nilingon ko naman kung sino ang tumawag sakin and i saw Shiela waving at me kaya ngumiti ako sa kanya at naglakad papunta sa pwesto nila.

"Hi." I said and kiss her on the cheeks. You know, Socialites do.

"Kala ko you're not going na." She said. I just smile as a response.

Marami rami rin silang kasama dito. I think mga sampo sila dito. Pang eleven ako.

May 3 guys pa nga silang kasama na  marerate as 7-9. Syempre kung ang boys nagrerate ng girls, aba kami pwedeng pwede din.

May other girls pa na familiar naman sakin. I think mga models din ito.

"Oh By the way, Guys i know you already knew her, but guys she is the very awesome France Ventura. France there are Janice, Camille, Aleya, Javel, Keyla, Hannah, Rex, John and Rence." 

"Oh, hi guys." I smiled at them. Nginitian din naman nila ako.

--

"So how long you were in the modeling industry?" This Rence guy asked me.

I shot again my drink. Nakailang shot na ba ko? Medyo ok pa naman ako, pero medyo hilo na din.

"Hm, I've been modeling for the past 4 years nagstop lang ako mga 1 year ago." I said.

"Ah that was the time when rumors said that you've been married kaya ka nawala. But that wasn't true right?" This other girl said, i think she's Aleya? Or Keyla? Oh whatever.

I just smiled at them. Maraming nagsasabi na nakasal na nga daw ako pero hindi ko yun inaamin. Balak ko naman sana yun. Ang umamin na kasal na ko when I get back here in the Philippines. Pero wala eh. Nagkaloko loko ang married life ko. Kaya kesa aminin kong kasal na ko e hinayaan ko na lang na sa pagkakaalam ng mga tao e single pa din ako. Why bother admit that I'm married, e hindi ko nga ramdam na may asawa ako.

Kaya hindi rin ako nagpalit ng surname ko. I just get back here in the Philippines 4 months ago dahil nga I run away from my 'oh so busy businessman' husband.

Ni hindi man lang namin nacelebrate ang 1st anniversary namin. 

And you know what really hurts me a lot? 

I gave up everything. I gave up my career, I agree to go with him kahit na mahirap sakin dahil mapapalayo ako sa pamilya ko, sumama ako sa kanya at nagpakasal.

I remembered that day. That day when I we got married. I thought I'll be the most happiest girl in the world having a responsible, handsome, rich, respectful husband. Kala ko that was our what they called "happily ever after." Pero wala pala talagang happily ever after. Because that was the time that I made myself miserable.

"Oh, France, you're spacing out. Problems?" Nabalik lang ako sa katinuan ng marinig kong nagsalita tong katabi ko. Si Rence.

I look at him and smiled. "Im sorry. What are you saying again?" I asked him.

"Nothing. Nevermind. Wanna go home? Ihahatid na kita." He said.

"Ayoko pang umuwi. I've got busied myself this past few days. I wanna enjoy just even for tonight." I said looking on the dance floor.

"Oh, so can we dance?" He asked me to dance? This guy is something.

Nilagok ko muna ang laman ng shot glass na nasa harap ko saka tumayo. 

He offered his hand kaya inabot ko naman ito. 

We dance there for we don't know how many minutes. At nag enjoy naman ako ng sobra. 

And I didn't felt any touches galing sa kung sino. Di tulad ng mga napapanuod ko na nahipuan or whatsoever. Kahit itong si Rence e hindi ko man lang naramdaman na napadikit sakin.

What's with the guys? Am i not attractive now? Haha.

When i felt tired ay bumalik na din kami ni Rence sa pwesto namin kanina. Sabi ko nga sa kanya ay magsayaw na muna sya pero sabi nya samahan nya na daw ako pabalik kaya ayun nag okay na lang ako.

When we got there e nakita kong nagmemake out sila Keyla at Rex. Gross. Mga to, dito pa naglandian.

"Hoy, get a room guys. Wag dito." Hinagisan naman ng kalat kalat na chips ni Rence sila Rex at Keyla.

Natawa na rin lang ako dahil napatigil nga sa ginagawa nila yung dalawa at nag-ayos ng sarili. Nakaramdam siguro sila ng hiya. Haha.

I just sit down sa may kabilang couch nung pwesto namin. Tumabi naman sakin si Rence.

Sa totoo lang, naiirita na ko sa pagsunod sunod sakin ni Rence. Pero sige ayos lang pogi naman. Haha.

"Sorry for that France ha. Mga yun talaga dito pa naglandian." Napakamot pa ito sa batok nya.

Tinawanan ko naman sya. "Okay lang. Medyo sanay na ko sa ganyan.." Tumawa na rin lang si Rence sakin.

Ilang beses akong niyayang umuwi na ni Rence dahil gabi na daw, pero hindi ako pumayag.

Kaya ayun wala din syang nagawa kundi sundin na lang ako. I've shared him my stories at nagkwento din sya tungkol sa kanya. Pero of course ang kwinento ko lang sa kanya kung anong buhay ko noon.

"I am a daughter of a farmer. They raise me in our province. Dati naman wala akong pake kung anak lang ako ng magsasaka. Wala akong pake kung asar asarin pa ko ng mga kaklase ko. Pero just when i got in highschool. 3rd year highschool to be exact i just realize how this world is unfair. Dun ko lang narealize na I should have been wanting the best. Noon ko nakita ang pangungutya ng mga amo nila papa sa kanila. Dun ka nakita kung gaano sila nahihirapan, kaya sinabi ko noon sa sarili ko na I will always want what's the best for us. I should have been prove to those na nangunguntya sa pamilya ko na they should have not treated us like that." I take a shot again at my shot glass full of liquor.

Rence is still there listening at my story. "Kaya nga ng makagraduate ako nakipagsapalaran ako dito sa Maynila. Kahit na ayaw nila papa at mama dahil nag-aalala sila sakin ay tumuloy pa din ako at hindi din nila ako napigilan. And luckily, I have discovered by tito Kiel. She introduced me sa modeling world at dahil sa may itsura naman ako kahit na probinsyana ay nakuha ako. That was how I got in this industry. I worked a lot. Talagang inayos ko ang trabaho ko para lang maiahon ko sila mama at papa sa hirap. And I succeed. Isn't my story inspiring" Nilingon ko si Rence. I smiled at him.

Nakita ko namang unti-unti din syang ngumit and he patted my head. "Inspiring story." He said. Tsk. Feeling close. Pero i feel so comfortable having Rence here by my side.

Sya naman ang nagkwento sakin about how great his family is. I envy him for having a happy family. At ni minsan ay hindi sya nakaranas ng hirap. 

We took a few more shots of liquor and I really felt dizzy. Pero hinayaan ko lang at inisang inom na naman ang laman ng shot glass.

"Wanna go home?" I heard Rence voice said.

"Hmm." Just when I wanna say yes. I just got wasted and fell asleep.