There's a difference between dying and passing on.
Dying just means that your soul is gone. It's that blank expression you see when you look in someone's eyes. It's that fake smile and forced laugh. It's the repetition. Dying is a monotone silence when the soul ceases to be happy and everything becomes forced.
Passing on is simply when the body dies.
I died over the course of eight years. I'm nineteen now.
It all started when my cheating boyfriend left for another woman. We had been together for two years and I was sure he was the one.
That hurt like hell when I found him shagging that other blond bimbo. Biatch.
I ignored the pain and suppressed it. Then my parents died in a car accident. It was my fault. I was forcing them to meet me at my best friend's wedding. I loathed myself and drunk drivers then.
Shortly after that, my best friend's husband went psycho when he thought she was having an affair.
He raped her and slit her throat before putting a bullet to his own head.
My brother and his fiancé broke up. He went into a state of depression and jumped off a building a week later.
That left me, alone and broken.
I had one person but he didn't really care. He only saw me as pathetic with all of the times I had cried in front of him.
All of those times he had held me without hesitation and comforted me. But he didn't care...no one did.
Now I sat alone in the bathroom. A blade to my wrists and cold water filling the bathtub.
I turned off the faucet and slipped into the ice cold water. My blood.mixed with the water and turned it pink as I slowly slid under the surface.
The sound of "Fallen Angel" by L'ame Immortelle softened to a distant sound as the water plugged my ears.
"I'm happy now," the words repeated in my head as I remembered the simple note I'd written.
I felt myself slipping away slowly and noticed the bathroom door open.
My friend barged in and immediately found the note. He let out a strangled cry before his eyes fell on me.
I was starting to lose consciousness as I felt him drag me from the water and hold me to his chest.
"Please! I love you!" He begged. A tear rolled down my face. All I ever wanted was to be loved and not left.
I coughed before I took my last breath and whispered, "I love you..."
And the final darkness engulfed me.
