Just Pretending [Discontinued]

"I'm grieving in pink because it reminds me of our decapitated Barbie dolls."

"Justice you need to calm down. I'm gonna go call mum and Ella okay?" My brother got up from the sofa, looking at me as if I was an animal about to leap.

Calm is not an adjective associated with Justice. More like slightly disruptive and occasionally loud. Only occasionally. Everyday occasionally.

My English teachers would be ashamed of my skills. There was something I was worrying about I forgot. Oh. The message.

"Mhm." I made a soft sound and let my head drop. I didn't really feel like moving at all. I glanced at my phone once again, the message still present.

"Dear Justice, I'm extremely sorry but I'm afraid Phoenix has passed away. I know it hurts, therefore, I will not pain you with the details. I'm assuming you want a proper funeral so please visit me at stables so we can discuss dates and obviously grieve. Feel free to bring anyone you need with you." I read the message out loud again, just to re-assure myself this wasn't all a dream.

"No dad don't come over just for that it's fine. No dad she can wait I'm sure. Yea she's sitting right here. I don't... Alright, lemme just ask her. Okay, give just a second." J.J held the phone against his chest. "Dad wants to talk to you. Do you..." He trailed off.

Do I? I mean he's barely ever present and he thinks he can buy my happiness with money and he continues to refuse to remember the important details fo my life such as my best friends name. Sure, pass me the phone!

I extended my hand and he placed the phone there. I held the phone against my ear. "Hey, dad." My voice came out a little hoarse.

"Hi, honey are you feeling alright?"

"Considering my soul mate just died I'd have to say no." I said, being rather forward.

"I know you're upset-"He was about to say something else but I interrupted him.

"Do you dad? Do you really? I bet you don't even know her name!" I yelled. I heard him sigh. "Look, dad, I'm not in the best mood. Just don't rush your flight for me alright? I'll see you in a couple of weeks. Bye." I hung up before he could say another word. I dropped the phone on my lap and sighed. My brother wrapped his arm around me and I dropped my head on his shoulder.

"I'm not going to sugar-coat it, it's going to hurt. A lot. But you don't have to go through this alone. You have me and mum and Ella and even Rob." He made small circles on my back.

"I'm going over there as soon as Ella gets here."

We continued like that for a few minutes until the doorbell rang. J.J got up to answer it and welcome inside the person. Rob was there. He looked tired as if he'd run here. His hair was quite messy and he had a panicked look on his face. He quickly 'bro-hugged' my brother and looked inside. When his eyes meet mine he ran up and gave me a hug, I hugged him back.

"Oh God, I can't imagine what you're going through." It was a nice hug, but I broke it. Rob stayed in the position he was in, on his knees facing me. I let my forehead rest on his. If Ella was here she would've totally taken a Polaroid picture and a picture for Tumblr. But alas, she's taking her time. Her time on her ride.

I've poisoned by emoness.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Sorry for what? It's not like you killed her." I chuckled darkly. "Because if you did I hope you know that I will haunt you from my grave."

This dark side of mine should come out more often. I'm like a gay kylo-Ren, hiding in the closet waiting for my time to strike. Everyone should bow down to gay kylo-ren.

No? Noone? Alrighty then, gay kylo-ren will return to the shadows.

"I'm sorry that you're going to have to go to school and pretend everything is fine when it really isn't."