Im Tired Of Feeling Alone

14) Busted.

(Ethan's POV)

I woke up feeling a bad headache. Hangovers are the worst! But nothing compared to last night. I couldn't even think about it without wanting to throw up. I hated myself right now. I can't even think straight. How could I have been so stupid.? I just feel like I let her down, and I did let her down. I promised her that I would never ever hurt her again. I promised her and I broke that promise. That was a promise that I never meant to break. She's my everything, my life, my baby. I love her. I was drunk and I didn't know that girl last night. I never meant for any of that to happen... The baby.. Oh god. What do I do.? I tried to apologize last night but I was way to drunk. I'm never partying again. I need to talk to Arizona. I have to.

I got up and left my bedroom. I walked down stairs and seen red cups and trash everywhere. Liquor bottles were broke all of the floor and people's clothes were scattered everywhere. I decided I should clean up. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a TrashBag and started picking up all of the trash.

Once everything was picked up I walked up stairs and knocked on Arizona's door. "What do you want." She said as I could tell by her voice she has been crying. And I wouldn't blame her. I don't know why she's even with me. I had sex with another girl... And I was 'paid' to date her. Why would a girl like her even want to be near a guy like me. I'm nothing but a horrible troubled man whore. I love this girl. But I don't think I can prove that to her anymore. I can't prove to her anything anymore. She will never accept me back. I mean, I want to be with her, god knows I want to be with her. I love her! She's so amazing. Everything about her is beautiful, and sweet and awesome.. She's so beautiful. I don't know why or how this even happened... All I know is that it happened, and there's no way to redo it.

"Please open the door. I need to explain. Please." I said begging her to open the door. "No. I will not open the door Ethan. I will not sit here an be treated like a bitch." She said crying. "Your my bestfriend. Your my lover. And I love you! Nothing about you is a 'bitch' your amazing and I love you. I didn't mean to.. Do what I did last night. But what happened, happened. And I can't take it back. No matter how badly I want to take it back I can't. I will do everything and anything I can to make it up to you. No matter how far you try push me away I will always come right back for you. And do you want to know why...? Well it's because IM IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!" I love you Arizona. And I love our baby. I was drunk last night. Please just understand that. I was drunk.. I was a stupid drunken idiot. And if you can't forgive me then at least know that I was Man enough to tell you that I was wrong. Okay.." I said with tears coming down my face. I was crying.. I was crying over a girl..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Arizona's POV)

"...And if you can't forgive me then at least know that I was Man enough to tell you that I was wrong. Okay." I heard Ethan say. I could tell he really meant it because I could hear his voice cracking up. I did love Ethan. Even though we've only know each other for about 3 months now... I still love him.. I know everything has gone so fast. But I don't care. I don't care if it was 3 days, I'd still be in love with him. He's my baby... He's my everything. Him and this baby are my life now. And I know it's going to be hard but I have to forgive him. I have to. I must forgive him. I have too...

I heard my phone ringing and seen it was dad.

(D-Dad. A-Arizona.)

A- Hello.?

D- Hey Hun. How's it going at the house.?

A- Everything is good. How's your trip.?

D- Oh it's great. Actually I called to tell you that, I'm going to say a few more weeks... If that's okay with you.

A- Oh umm.. I mean I really want you home right now but if your having fun and if you really want too stay longer I guess you can.

D- Haha. It's so funny how I'm asking you...

A- Yeah I know. It is kinda funny I guess.

D- How was the party.? Not to crazy.?

A- Umm. Uh.. Yeah it was good I guess. I stayed upstairs most of the time. You know me, I'm not much of a party girl. But other than that... It was good.

D- Oh that's good. No cops.? No swat team..? No hospital..?

A- Haha. Nope.

D- Well good. That's good. Well I guess I'm going to let you go. I'm sure your busy.

A- Alright dad. Well I love you. I'll call you later or tomorrow.? Yeah.?

D- I love you to. Have fun. Bye.

I ended the call and set my phone back on the charger. I forgot about Ethan still being outside of my door. "You didn't have to lie to him.. Ya know.?" He said trying to open my still locked door. "I know... But I felt like I should." I said before getting up and looking at myself in the mirror. I look bad. My eyeliner was all under my eyes and my mascara was running down my cheeks. I needed a day out. But I didn't want to leave my room. I didn't want to face Ethan face-to-face. I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to be ugly. And lazy.

"I love you." I heard Ethan say. "Yeah.. I know." I said leaning against my door. "Can you please forgive me.?" He asked. "I don't know..." I replied.

'I don't know what to do... I love him but he hurt me.. Again. I'm just tired of feeling alone...'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hey guys. I TRIED to make this one a little bit longer.. But I failed at that attempt. But I'm sorry. I'll make this AN short.. So.. I haven't talked to the guys since I last updated.. So like 2 days ago.. And I'm okay with that. I really wanna talk to C tho.. But it's whatever. I have to go to my Highschool at 6:30 in an hour I'll leave and go pick up my schedule and yeah. I hate school.. But anyway I'm going to be SOO nervous. I have really bad anxiety. But anyway. I'm ending this. Sorry it's still kind of long. Okay. Your beautiful. Byee(: ❤

8•19•13