Im Tired Of Feeling Alone

25) First Day Home

(Ari POV)

I walked around the house looking at everything. It seems so different, it doesn't feel the same, nothing feels the same. I have a baby to care for, and a boyfriend to keep happy. Honestly, it was terrifying I didn't know how to care for Meredith nor did I want too. As terrible as that sounds, I know it sounds really bad but I just wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep. Ethan was out with my dad buying baby formula. I decided I was not going to boob feed, just having the idea of a baby sucking on my boob was disgusting. Really really disgusting.

I looked over at Meredith who was laying beside me in my bed. She was sleeping so sweetly. She cried a lot for the car ride home, apparently she didn't like it, at all. She had blackish brown hair, she's going to take after Ethan. She has his nose and probably will have his eyes. But I would really like her to have mine. Bluish kind of eyes with dark hair, absolutely beautiful. I love her so much. I know raising a baby at my age will be hard, really hard. I haven't even thought about what I would do for school. I'm not dropping out I'm not that weak.

*4 hours earlier*

I looked around my hospital room, I hated it, I've always hated hospitals I never wanted to be inside of one. I especially never wanted to be a patient in one.

I looked outside the window and seen cars filling up the parking lot. I guess there was a big trauma accident. I heard doctors yelling and screaming at each other ".. Page dr..." I heard pagers going off everywhere. I seen my doctor come into my room looking worried about the traumas coming in. "Hi Ms. Parker, you're ready to go home today, if Ethan can go and sign some papers at the front desk and I'll sign your discharge papers" she said looking over at Ethan then back up at me. "Of course." Ethan said walking out of the room. She signed a piece of paper and closed my chart and said "Okay, you're all ready to go, just try and take it easy, no heavy lifting and no moving around too much." She said looking at me. "Okay" I said with a smile.

When we got off the elevator we walked outside and went to Ethan's car. He put Meredith in her car seat and opened the passenger door for me as he helped me in. My stomach was still really sore from the surgery.

The car ride home wasn't really how I wanted it to be. Meredith cried the whole time. Giving me a really bad head ache. I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle this but I can try.

This was the first day home. And I was scared.

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(A/N) Heey guys. Sorry it's short and boring I got really bored so I updated. I didn't go to school today because I had a dentist app. But I feel really sick. I need to go to the hospital or something I feel like I have to throw up. Ugh I hate feeling like this. :( I need my boyfriend ughh:( I'm sick and probably dying. I'm sick omgg my stomach hurts and I have a bad ass headache. Like I want to take the who bottle of Advil. But my mommy would be very very sad if I OD. But I'm dying already. :( okay bye guys ✋😞

01.21.14

And read my best friends book it's amazing. 'New town, new me'