lolita | bellerín

goodbyes

"she said 'you're my everything'
'i love you through everything'
but i've done everything to her
she forgave me for everything,
it's a forever thing
i hate that I treat it
like it's a whatever thing
trust me,
this is everything to me."
---------

Salome didn't plan on telling her mother that she was pregnant, because she knew there was no way in heaven or hell she would live to meet her grandchild; and to put such a burden on Sofia would be like murder in itself.

Instead, Hector and her began to plan out the inevitable future. Hector would be moving twelve hours way, all the way to Munich from London, and as far as he was concerned he was taking Salome with him whether she liked it or not. After all, where else would she go? He meant it in the nicest way possible when he said that he didn't want Salome to end up like her mother, in the sense that raising a child without it's father was hell and it was even worse when you could support neither yourself nor the kid.

So, one month into her pregnancy, Hector had her take lessons with him and a tutor on the German language. It was a little too overwhelming for Salome, however, who had tons of tests and assignments; so, Hector made the easy decision to just have her focus on school until she graduated.

Salome didn't know what to do. Did she tell her mother and brother that she was moving away, or would she just run off with Hector? Once they were in Germany, would their relationship remain the same? Salome could only hope so.

"Why do you wear such baggy clothes now, Gordita?" Sofia greeted her daughter with a question as Salome entered her hospital room followed by Hector, who held a bouquet of flowers.

Salome climbed next to her mother in the bed and kissed her forehead, lovingly. "I've been very tired lately."

"Díos, Salome." Sofia closed her eyes. "If you're pregnant, just tell me."

Salome's lips twitched. "Well, I'm not."

"So you just decide to make this drastic change in your style for no reason—"

"I came because I have news to tell you." Salome interrupted her mother, blushing furiously. "I wasn't going to tell you at first, mama, because..." She paused and shook her head. "Anyways, yes, I'm pregnant. And Hector and I are moving to Germany, because he's transferring to a team there, and that's where we'll raise the baby...together." Salome's voice was shaky and nervous, as she was tearing up; but at the same time it was hopeful.

Sofia responded immediately. "Well, that's wonderful, mija. I'm happy for you."

Hector widened his eyes. He expected Sofia to be pissed—he'd impregnated her daughter, who wasn't even an adult—yet she was smiling and looking, in fact, the happiest that Hector had ever seen her as she pressed her palms to her eyes to wipe away a few tears.

Salome frowned. "You are?"

"Why wouldn't I be? This whole time, I've been feeling so guilty. Thinking that I was going to leave this world and leave you and your brother with nothing. Your brother is different, I suppose. He takes care of himself. But you're still young, Salome, and it's dangerous for young girls like you..." Sofia talked for a few more moments before turning to Hector, who had been on the brink of tears this entire time; only out of pity for Salome and Sofia. "May I speak to you?"

Hector nodded. "Of course."

The two both looked at Salome, who quickly got the hint and jumped out of the bed before exiting the room. She paced back and forth, biting her nails and letting her thick hair fall before her eyes. She wasn't ready for any of this.

"Salome?"

A familiar voice caused the Colombian to glance up at the body it belonged to; Jason. Mierda, she thought. She put a smile on her face. "Jason, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm just visiting my aunt." Jason made his way to Salome, while Salome was wincing. Don't come near me. Go away. "She just gave birth to her first son."

"That's wonderful." Salome responded, with a polite smile.

Jason nodded and stepped closer; at this point too close for comfort. "Yeah. What about you?"

"Visiting mi abuela...that means grandma." She added, quickly, watching him smile. "My cousin is in there talking to her right now, so I decided I'd give them some privacy." She of course had to lie about Hector, just in case he ended up coming out.

"I hope everything is alright—"

And, out came Hector, his eyes red. He'd been crying. Salome felt her eyebrows furrow as she glanced up at Hector. "Is everything alright?"

"Who's this?" He inquired, looking at an extremely star-stricken Jason.

"J-Jason." He spoke, quickly. "Oh my god, I'm a huge fan."

Really? I'm not, Hector thought. This was the boy to take advantage of Salome. "Oh." Hector simply stated, quickly. "Well, we're kind of busy, so—"

"No, of course." Jason nodded, his eyes wide and glossy in admiration. "It was sick meeting you, though. I'll see you at school?" He smiled at Salome. "Or I'll text you."

Salome just blinked. "Yeah."

Jason smiled and turned on his heel before walking away, leaving Hector to just give Salome a look of complete annoyance before he spoke. "I'll be in the car. Your mother is getting some rest."

"Okay." She responded, biting her lip as he placed his fingers on her cheek before kissing her forehead and walking off. Salome entered the room to see her mother lying peacefully with her eyes closed, but luckily her slow breaths told her that she was still hanging on.

She didn't know what to do. She just had the feeling, a weight on her entire chest, that told her this was the last time she might ever interact with her living mother. And even now, she was sleep. Salome could say nothing but "I love you"—she'd never said it to her mother, nor had she ever had it—and "I'm sorry."

And that was it. Salome pushed her mother's hair off of her forehead, admired how beautiful she was, and realized she was only thirty-five years old—so, there was no reason for her to not be so beautiful. Then, Salome was gone, riding along with Hector back to the house that had now become theirs.