lolita | bellerín

moving on

"we loved each other
with a premature love
marked by a fierceness
that so often
destroys adult lives."

----------

Sofía Reyes
Beloved mother
1980 - 2016
Descanse en paz

"Salome?" Hector rubbed his girlfriend's back as she stared at her mother's grave, her face peculiarly blank. There were no tears, not even a frown; just wide, brown eyes that were filling with realization.

She blinked. "I have to find my brother."

"You have a brother?"

Salome nodded, slowly. "I have to find him!"

"Okay, okay." Hector watched as she placed the roses at her mother's grave before she stood up, panicked, and placed her hands on his shoulder before shaking him. "What's your brother's name?"

"David."

"Okay," Hector placed his hands on her hips. Salome gazed at her mother's grave, said another small prayer, and then the two proceeded to walk back to Hector's all black car—which matched their attire. "Where does he work?"

Salome held a hand up. "He's in a gang."

Hector froze. "Salome, I..." He paused. "We leave for Munich tonight."

Salome felt her heart capsizing as she stared at Hector, helplessly. "But I haven't talked to him in months, Hector. I don't—"

"Hey, who is that?" Frowning, Hector motioned to the grave of Salome's mother, where there kneeled another black-clothed silhouette.

Salome gasped and rushed over to her brother as quick as her two-month pregnant body could take her before shaking his shoulders, causing him to flinch as he glanced up at his little sister. "Where the hell have you been?" She muttered, with a scoff.

David blinked. "I've been around."

"You little puta." Salome hit the man. "Mama was dying, and you didn't visit her once! You didn't even come home!"

"She's been dying all her life, Salome. And don't hit me." Dylan swatted her hands away, frowning. "I did visit her. And I knew that her time was close. If I didn't know what condition she was in, what makes you think I'd make my way here?"

Salome scoffed. "Are you not hurting?"

"She didn't love either of us, Salome." David shook his head. "Look at you. You're knocked up at seventeen. She had me when she was fifteen, and you when she was eighteen. Kids can't raise kids—"

"Stop it!" She hissed, gasping. "You know what happened. You know the circumstances under which she brought us onto the planet. How could you act like she was stupid, and it was her choice? We're lucky that she didn't get rid of us! She tried, and that's what matters."

David just clenched his jaw and shook his head. "Things would be better if she had gotten rid of us, and you know that, Salome."

"Is there an issue here?" Hector finally barged into the conversation, securing a protective arm around Salome's shoulders. Salome just shook her head, her expression a cross between hurt, betrayal, and sadness as she spoke.

"This is just my idiot brother. But you don't need to meet him, because you guys won't be interacting with each other ever again." Salome stated, crossing her arms. "David, you should know that I'm leaving London tonight."

David stared at Hector, slightly furrowing his eyebrows. He knew who Hector was, obviously. He envied his sister. "And going where?"

"That doesn't matter." She responded, grabbing Hector's hand. She was already walking away. "Just know that you're on your own, now."

And he was. But, in some ways, so was she. A part of her wanted to hold on to her brother, because he was all she had left in terms of family; but she knew that soon enough, she would start one of her own.

"What was that all about?" Hector muttered, speeding off from the graveyard. Salome nauseously looked out of the window at the cloudy London sky, which she wouldn't miss at all. She wouldn't miss a single thing about London. 

"It doesn't matter," She responded, sadly. "Let's just get to your place so that I can finish packing."

Hector glanced sideways at Salome. She hadn't shed a tear ever since her mom died, which concerned the Spaniard. "Do you want to talk about it—"

"No, Hector, I don't." She spat, almost harshly. "Talking about it won't bring her back to life."

Hector tapped the steering wheel. "I just want to make sure you're okay, Salome."

"I'm not okay." She muttered, with a shrug. And, with a voice of finality, she spoke yet again; leaving Hector unsure of what to respond. "I never have been okay, Hector, and I don't know if I ever will be."