Life Is Surely Killing Me

Chapter 4

     As Justice and I sat on the bed and talked, Austin stood near us, smoking his marijuana. I'm not going to lie, I've thought about trying it. But then, what kind of influence would I be? I'm the only one left for Justice to look up to. I'm the only influential role model left in this household. I cannot let Justice down, ever.

I looked at Austin, curious about what was going through his head. He looked back at me, cocking his head, gesturing for me to come towards him. I shook my head, knowing he was going to do or say something sexual.

He kept making these weird body gestures, he was clearly horny and desperate. I looked into his eyes, for the first time in forever. They were quite dull, and I don't mean by the color. They were full of depression, confusion, and loneliness. He doesn't feel loved either, I thought. But my thoughts were interrupted when Justice shook my shoulder and yelled, "Hope!" Austin and I both looked away from each other, and he chuckled.

I looked at Justice like a deer in the headlights. "Tell me a story!" She whined. "Okay, okay," I sighed.

"Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was a lonely boy. He felt angry because his parents were mad at him and didn't love him."

I paused, glancing at Austin. This story had gotten his attention.

I continued, "The boy was also frightened. He was frightened because he was lost. Not physically, but mentally. He didn't think he would ever be loved. He thought he would always be lonely. But what he didn't know, was that he wasn't the only one who felt this way. There was a girl a couple years younger than him who felt the exact same way. She didn't feel loved, she felt abandoned. She felt as if no one cared for her, and she was taken advantage of. This girl was the boy's sister."

Now, at this point, I assumed that Austin had caught on, but when I glanced over at him, he seemed confused, yet, he understood. He put his mary jane down and sat next to me.

I looked at him, confused. I expected him to say something sexual and unnecessary, but he didn't. He just sat there, staring into my eyes, searching my soul. Then, out of nowhere, he lunged his arms around me, hugging me.

At first, I was shocked. But then, I wrapped my arms around him, too. For a moment, we just sat there hugging in the silence. Then, I heard him say, "I'm sorry." I just squeezed him tighter.