Life Is Surely Killing Me

Chapter 12

First, I told him about the kidnapping and the freaky dude and the rescue. Then, I told him about the Britney, Stella, and Hillary. I left out the detail of my drawing. When I finished explaining, he was horrified. He was teary-eyed, and his mouth was in the shape of a squished "O" and fear and worry filled his soul.

I couldn't look him in the eye. "Wow," he was speechless. "You've been through a lot," he sighed as he wiped a tear away, "I'm so sorry." "For what? It's not your fault," I stated. "No, I mean, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you most of your life—even when Mom was around—and I still wasn't there for you this time," he shook his head in disappointment, "I'm sorry."

"No," I looked at him. "No?" He looked surprised. "No! I'm not accepting an apology for something that wasn't your fault!" I raised my voice, "Or something that isn't true. Plus, even if you weren't there for me before, you are now. The past is in the past, right?" I sighed, smiling.

"I guess. But don't you ever wonder how we would be if I was there for you before?" He asked.

"Well," I pondered this, "Yes and no. I mean, we might not be this close now if we were close then. I mean, think about it, we weren't close then, but we've grown closer through this crisis. If we would've been close then, the crisis might've driven us apart. And anyway, the past should never be altered. If this is the way it is, then this is the way it's supposed to be." I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Wow, I never thought about it that way," he looked as if he was thinking about something, so I assumed he was. I left him with his thoughts as I went to go check on Justice who was looking at the pictures in her books.