We Can Love Again

Thinking Positive

She didn't want her children to attend the funeral. In fact, she and Emma agreed not to tell them about it at all. They still had school to go to, she didn't want them to have another thing to worry about.

The weather was crystal clear, a perfect September day. Though it didn't feel perfect. Regina pulled on a coat as she left her house.

Her brother in law still wasn't back; she had tried getting a hold of him, but he wasn't answering. Of course her day had to start out sour- not that it was going to get better. She was going to a funeral for an unborn baby.

When Regina got there, she saw the funeral as a half dozen people standing like statues with their arms folded, heads down, staring at the grass as if it would provide an answer to why such a tragedy could occur. Snow and Charming were nowhere to be seen. They were within a small grassland area near the enter entrance to the woods, an isolated place.

Emma, Neal, Killian, and Ruby were all standing side by side, patiently waiting to get the event over with. Regina supposed they didn't want too many people attending, which made her feel slightly better about the conversation between her and her stepdaughter that previous day. She passed Ruby and Emma, sending them both the best smile she could manage at the time- a pathetic try at comforting them. Despite all the deaths she had endured in her lifetime, Regina really hadn't been to many funerals. Now she remembered why.

The Charmings emerged from their beaten down truck, taking slow steps toward their welcoming party. In David's hands, there was a pale blue shoebox, one that matched the color of the sky perfectly. Snow was already bawling, holding in her hands a small, white flower. She kept her head held high as she walked.

Once they stopped in front of them, it seemed as though everyone was at a loss of what to do exactly. It took every once of will in her body to keep from bursting into tears.
David exchanged glances with his wife before stepping forward, holding the box securely in his hands.

"Our little baby didn't make it," he began, already at a loss of words as his throat tightened. "Fifteen weeks old, still had a long way to go. He had a life waiting for him here, with us... But... I guess it was never meant to be."

That's when Regina started to cry. She couldn't bear the thought of having to cope with a dead child; an innocent child with a life full of hopes and dreams awaiting him. He was supposed to be Snow's little prince, Charming was supposed to teach him how to ride a bike, to play catch. Now all those dreams were dead inside the pale blue shoebox.

"And I know this is a setback for us, but we have to move forward, remember everything we're grateful for. Snow and I are blessed with the most perfect daughter in the world, the best family, and the best friends. You all have helped us so much during these last couple of days."

Emma was silently crying onto the front of Killian's shirt. Neal was beside her, but didn't really seem to care.

Wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his flannel shirt, David finished his short speech. "Maxwell is up in heaven as we speak... Our little angel. Even though I didn't get to know him... I already love him very much."

Snow let a small sob escape her mouth as David turned around to grab the shovel that was lying beside at his feet. Regina, alone with the rest of the small group, watched the couple dig a small, deep hole into the earth, exposing the soft soil underneath. Snow knelt down, slowly lowering the box containing her child with shaking hands into the dark hole.

As Regina stood there, she glared through reddened eyes at ground in front of her. She was never one to believe in a higher being, or rather, God; but if there really was one out there, Regina wondered why He allowed her family to endure so much suffering.

After covering the hole with fresh soil, Snow carefully placed one of her infamous snowdrop flowers on top, tenderly tucking it securely in place.

It stood there, all alone, standing guard over Snow and Charming's precious baby boy who never got a chance at living.

--

As she suspected, there were many tears shed when the news about Snow's miscarriage was revealed to her kids. It was never an easy thing to expose such horror to young children; to them, the world was still a safe place, and it was okay to lie ignorant to all the bad things that went on. Regina already knew even her four year old had seen more than he should ever have to, which made this time hurt that much more.

"But... She's Snow White..." Henry said feebly, "she has to get her happy ending."
Regina pulled her son close, wiping away his tears as best as she could. Thankfully, she had forced herself from completely breaking down (again). It was something she had trained herself to do, back when she was a little girl in the hands of her mother.

"Sometimes happy endings aren't always what we think they will be," Regina replied softly, trying to tend to both of her boys at the same time. She still wondered where Will was; part of his rental agreement was to help out with the kids- and this was a prime example of a time where she would need some assistance.

"Momma, will our baby die like Aunt Snow's baby did?" Roland sniffed, looking up at her with wetness swimming in his chocolate brown eyes.

His words pierced right though her heart. Regina held her son's small face with her hands, a wounded look reflecting in her eyes.

"No, Roland... What happened with Snow was an accident, but it happens every once in a while. This baby is perfectly healthy. If we don't think positive, we won't get anywhere."

Positive. Interesting choice of words, Henry thought bitterly to himself.

"Emma and I think it would be best if you both didn't go over to the house for a little while- just until they get everything sorted out."

The twelve year old frowned. "It's been days since I've seen her or Neal! They're still family too!"

"I know, I know," Regina said, "we can invite them over soon if you'd like. They probably need some home cooked meals."

Roland lifted his head off her chest. "You haven't cooked anything for a long time mommy."

It was true- Regina just didn't have the heart to cook anymore, or, at least, not like she used to. Nowadays, it was Granny's and whatever any of them could find in the fridge. These past few weeks had become substantially duller with every passing day. They smiled less. Laughed less. Even talked less than they used to.

Life now, it seemed, was a never ending storm.