We Can Love Again

No Regrets

It was well past ten by the time Robin arrived home from work. Regina could tell he was tired, so she made him a hot bowl soup. Though, he didn't seem too talkative.

"You should've been there, it was quite amusing to see Neal as Santa," Regina told him, watching him twirl his spoon around his bowl. "And Roland was more than ecstatic to meet him. I knocked two birds with one stone- now I know what he wants for Christmas, and he thinks Santa Claus is real. How was your day?"

He laughed softly, shrugging his shoulders. "I saw the video David put on... Facebook, I think? Quite amusing. But I spent the entire day reorganizing all the dog and cat food on the shelves. And then Archie had to stop by and tell me all of Pongo's needs."

"I'm so sorry, that doesn't sound fun at all," she said, in a voice filled with sympathy. "But you're home now, that's all that matters."

Robin sent her a thankful smile. "Couldn't be more grateful for you and your delicious food. But it really is late, aren't you tired?"

Regina shrugged. "Yeah, a little. I wanted to say the same to you, you look pretty exhausted."

"I am, trust me. But I really want to finish that crib before I go to bed."

She quickly retaliated to that answer. "You can't! You need to sleep, you've been so stressed lately. The nursery thing had been making me go crazy; I don't know how we're going to finish it in time. But we can't work on it now- I feel like I've hardly seen you this week." She placed her hand over his. "Come to bed with me. Please?"

She knew he wouldn't be able to resist her for very long.

"Alright, I'll be up once I finish this soup. Did the boys go to bed okay?"

"Yes, though Roland wanted to tell you everything about how things went with Santa. I blew three hundred dollars on convincing Neal just to find out he wants a coloring book! Gotta say, it was amusing nonetheless. I had to give Henry ten dollars just to keep him quiet."

"Sounds like a full day," Robin smiled, getting up to his bowl down in the sink, "I have no idea how you do it all."

Regina didn't know either. Time seemed to slip right through her fingers when she tried sorting out all the Christmas plans. She began to tell him all the new ideas she had on the holiday, but quickly realized that Robin was far too tired to pay attention to what she was saying. So she forced him up the stairs with her and got into bed without another word.

--

The next thing Robin remembered was sitting on the couch watching some dumb show on television. He didn't know what time of day it was, or why he wasn't at work, or where his kids were. Things were so quiet and oddly unsettling; he didn't know what to do with himself. Everything remained stone silent until he heard someone scream upstairs. And he could tell exactly who it was- Regina.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up at the sound of her scream; Robin was racing up the stairs as fast as he possibly could. It the staircase felt incredibly long, as if one stair climbed resulted in another one being added. He could hear her calling his name, desperation flooding his senses.

It was when he finally got to their bedroom the she stopped screaming. In fact, he couldn't hear anything at all, over the pounding of his heart.

"Regina- Regina what's-?" Robin stopped short when he saw the blood. He could feel his heart explode in his chest as he grabbed hold of her hand, only to find her skin colder than ice.

"No... No no no..." He muttered, shaking her again and again, wanting nothing more than to see her eyes open. But it never happened.

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he yelled her name, over and over until his voice simply gave out. He had nothing left- absolutely nothing.

"Robin! Robin wake up!" Regina shook him as hard as she could, concern showing in her eyes. He jumped when he finally came to; glancing at her like he had just seen a ghost. His breath was rugged, and he felt like he was on fire.

"It's okay- just a bad dream. It's over now." She told him, rubbing circles gently on his back.

He grabbed her arm for a second, feeling her pulse. "You're- you're okay?"

Regina gave him a small smile. "I'm fine! The baby's fine too- everything's completely fine. It's four in the morning though, you should go back to sleep."

Sleep was the last thing on his mind. In just a few seconds, tears welled up in his eyes, and he couldn't help but lay his head down on her stomach and cry. Regina was so taken aback; she didn't know what to do at first. Her fiancé had always been the strongest person she knew- he never cried about anything, it was always the other way around. He was supposed to be her lionheart.

"Robin, I told you... Everything is fine. Bad dreams aren't real; trust me, I've had more than enough of them-"

"How... How am I going to be a father to this baby- how can I be a father to any of our kids... Knowing all the bad things I've done?"

She ran her fingers through his hair, trying to form a response. "You haven't done anything wrong; I don't know why you would think that."

"I- I killed him, Regina. Right after you went through that portal. I killed Alan, I chose to. I was just so... So angry with what he did to you."

The words slowly sunk into her mind; suddenly, she felt dizzy inside. Was he really this worked up about killing one person? She had killed hundreds.

"Hey, it's okay... The past is the past, it's nothing any of us can change. You had every right to do what you did, he deserved it-"

"I murdered him, Regina! He didn't deserve that. All those years of stealing from the rich to give to the poor, not succumbing to the anger inside, all gone to waste. How am I supposed to teach our kids what's right and what's wrong when I've done everything wrong?"

She could feel her emotions bubbling up inside of her. She wanted to scream at him, remind him how she had done every possible thing wrong for countless years, how she was the most unfit and most undeserving mother in the world. But that didn't change the fact that she had two boys she loved more than anything, and a little girl on the way. She should be the one freaking out about teaching their kids right from wrong, or being scared to death about them finding out about what she did. However, she wasn't. Her son had figured out most of the horrible things she had done, and he still stayed. And because of Roland's love, she had been able to forget all the hate and anguish that had been strong between her and the rest of Storybrooke. She had promised herself she would never resort to being the Evil Queen again- she had no reason to. With all of her past successfully buried, she could move on with her life. And move on she would, with her soon-to-be husband and a baby that would be all hers.

"You are without a doubt the most loving, caring, and strongest man I have ever met. I can't think of anyone else who could be a better father to our kids. Henry loves you, Roland loves you, and I know our baby girl will love you too. They will never know about what you did. And Robin, I don't love you any less now that I know. We can't have regrets, there's no need to. Because everything you did in the Enchanted Forest got you back home, and I couldn't be more grateful for that."

"You make it sound so easy to just bury the hatchet," he told her, sitting up to wipe the tears from his eyes. "But you're right. Everything that happened back there got me back to you and our family. I just wish I could forget it all, it was pure hell."

"You can forget it all, with this baby. We can forget all the bad things... We can be happy. I promise."

While he still had his doubts, Robin knew he could trust her. He had for almost a year, and now they had a strong little family to prove it.