Queen of my Heart

34

IT WAS AWKWARD.

Still, this conversation was long overdue. Frankly, it was all my fault why this happened, but I couldn't solve my problem with Bryan unless he talked to Sander.

Too bad I wasn't prepared for the latter's arrival.

I won't ever have a friend-with-benefit again.

Sander settled on the couch, unaware or just ignoring the palpable tension in the air. Bryan and I remained standing, not quite knowing what to do with ourselves.

It was comical, really. Our own place and we couldn't settle down while a stranger (to Bryan, at least) was too comfortable for his own good.

He raised his eyebrows at us. “Why are you standing?”

I shook my head. “Why are you here?”

“Can't I see my friend?”

Bryan's sharp breath fanned the back of my neck. “Behave,” I whispered to him before flopping down beside Sander. I shot him a smile. “How are things with Shiela?”

He shrugged, a grin lighting up his face. “We're happy. We haven't done the things we did though.”

I froze at his words. The things we did.

Bryan was seething and desperately trying to mask it with a forced neutrality. “What things, lad?” He was still standing.

The poor 'lad' he was asking looked to and fro the both of us, an odd expression on his face. Finally he met Bryan's gaze. “Oh, I heard you came back. Welcome.” He gave a curt nod. “And to answer your question, those things have to do with sex.” Nobody else moved as he leaned back, a lazy smirk on his lips. “I figured you know what happened between Juliet and me. Your murderous eyes tell me everything.”

My eyes refused to look away from Sander. How could he? “Stop it,” I breathed out, on the verge of tears. Why did he say that? Why did he even visit?

Sander pretended not to have heard me. “Relax, dude. I like Juliet. A lot. I don't regret being involved with her. Heck, I loved being with her.” He shot me a wink. “But that's not the point. We promised to attach no strings and now that I'm with the love of my life and Juliet's got you, you don't have to worry anymore. I won't get in your way, all right?”

For a second I thought Bryan was going to attack the other guy, but he just nodded, his tense shoulders relaxing just a bit. “Got it.” He let out a breath. “Now get the hell out of here.”

Sander stood up. “Sure.” He glanced at me, smiling that secretive smile he reserved for when we were alone. I couldn't help but think that will be the last time I'd see it. “See you around, babe, yeah?”

Just shut up, Sander. “I'll keep in touch, boss.”

Nodding, he made his way to the door but not without stopping to whisper something to Bryan. The latter visibly looked more at ease.

With a wave, Sander shut the door behind him.

Uncomfortable silence reigned, leaving me cold and distraught. Trust Sander to ruin the mood.

I couldn't meet his eyes. “I'm sorry.”

“What for?” My head shot up. Was it just me or was he actually amused?

“Err . . . For Sander?” Wait a minute. What was I sorry for exactly?

Closing the distance between us, he held me at arm's length. “We've talked about this, didn't we?”

“But you look so upset and I don't want to—”

Pause. Why was he kissing me again? Play.

Suddenly I was backed up against the wall, my legs around his waist. There was an urgency in the way he kissed me, a desperation that was never quite there before. He rested his forehead to mine, my lips tingling from his kiss. “I'm jealous,” he breathed out, eyes dark and hungry.

I smiled. Gosh, he was so honest. “Why?”

His fingers grazed the exposed skin where my shirt had ridden up. I shivered at his touch. “I hate thinking about you with another man.” He bent down and licked my neck. I sighed. “Doing things I had in mind since the first time I met you.”

Take me, Bryan. “What do you want to do about that?” I could barely form a sentence with the way he was touching and kissing me.

“I want to make love, Juliet.”

I gripped his hair. “Me, too, Bryan.” Taking his lower lip between my teeth, I added, “I want you so much.”

He kissed me, his hand touching my bare thigh and sending waves of heat through my system.

And then suddenly we were at arm's length again. I had to lean against the wall to keep from falling. I threw him a questioning look, my body craving for his touch. He merely shook his head, his eyes returning to their normal shade.

“I can't do this yet,” he said.

Rejection weighed down my chest. “Is this . . . still about Sander?”

His eyes snapped up to mine. “What? No! God, Juliet.” Stepping forward, he took my face in his hands. “I just want this to be special. I don't want to make love just to prove a point.” He gave me a chaste kiss. “You deserve better than that.”

“I don't deserve anything,” I blurted out. “I don't even know why you like me, Bryan.” Or why anybody likes me, for that matter.

The smile that lighted up his face sent my heart on a rampage. “I have a thousand reasons, but I'll give you one.” He pecked my forehead. “You make me happy. It's enough reason, don't you think?”

• • •

It was three days later, as Bryan and I were eating lunch, when Shiela came banging on the door.

She was tear-stained and disheveled, her eyes bloodshot and wild.

Bryan stood behind me. “What's the matter, Shiela?” Panic rose up my throat. Don't tell me Sander did something stupid.

A sob rocked her body, but she kept her ground. “It's Sander.”

Bloody hell. “What did he do?”

She could barely get the words out through her tears. “He's dying.”