the cool side of the pillow {styles au}

eight

Trigger warning: self harm, suicidal thoughts

Blood-stained feet run across broken glass. A new shard wedges itself in my heel, causing me to yelp out in pain. Where am I? Why is there broken glass on the floor? Why is this hallway so damn long? Eventually I come to a door that is cracked open, a white light shining from the other side. Despite what my better judgement tells me to do, I push it open and step inside. The room is completely empty except for a wooden chair sitting in the center and a lightbulb swinging back and forth from the ceiling. As I move closer to the chair, the lightbulb explodes and I'm submerged into complete darkness. Loud, heavy footsteps come rushing down the hall and in a panic-driven motion, I slam the door shut and press my back to the surface.

Silence. The footsteps are gone and I exhale the breath I'd been holding in. I think everything is fine, that is until a powerful fist begins to pound on the door. A shriek of terror escapes me as the wood begins to splinter under the pressure.

"Leave me alone!" I scream, cupping my face in my hands and sinking to the floor.

"Cleo," someone calls faintly.

My eyes fly open and I clutch my heel as phantom pains shoot up my leg. I frantically take in my surroundings and a sigh of relief leaves my parted lips when I realize I'm at home safe. Large, familiar hands hold my face and I look up into the comfort of Harry's green eyes. I lean my body into his as my breathing slowly returns to normal.

"God, you weren't kidding about this being a constant thing," he comments as he cradles me in his arms.

My arms lock around his waist and my head rests against his warm chest, "I'm sorry."

Harry brings his face close to mine, "What on earth are you sorry for?! It isn't your fault and I just want to be here to help you anyway I can."

I sigh, "I just feel bad that when you're with me you won't be getting a good night's sleep."

"I don't get much sleep anyway. I'd rather be here with you than at home by myself."

I still feel bad but let it go, "Okay."

Harry's hands rub circles on my back, "Do you need anything?"

"Sanity," I joke, laughing bitterly.

"I won't be much help with that, but I could get you a glass of water if you want one."

I shake my head, "I'm fine, but thank you."

Harry dips his head down and kisses my forehead tenderly, holding his lips against my skin a few extra seconds. When he finally pulls away, his eyes still hold an edge of concern behind the emerald green shade that has grown to be my comfort. In an attempt to make him stop looking at me like that, I kiss him. Hard.

After indulging himself for a bit, Harry pulls away, "We can't right now."

I let my fingers get lost in his hair and press my body tighter to his, "Why?"

"Because it's just not the right time, Cleo," he says sternly.

I drop my hands, "I had a nightmare, it's not that big of a deal."

"Clearly it is if you're screaming in your sleep and waking up in tears."

I feel embarrassed, "I was screaming?"

"Yeah, it was almost as loud as when I made you scream earlier," he says in an attempt to lighten the mood.

I hide my face in my hands, "I'm so sorry."