the cool side of the pillow {styles au}

twenty six

Songs for this chapter:

3AM - Matchbox Twenty

Wrap Your Arms Around Me - Gareth Dunlop

Nightingale - Demi Lovato

Cleo's POV:

I raise an eyebrow, "What is it?"

Harry's breathing accelerates, "Well, you already know that my brother died. I was twelve when it happened; he was fifteen. Our parents bought Seth a car when he turned fourteen, so that when he was sixteen and passed his driver's exam, he could drive. My dad taught him how to drive in the field behind our house, and he was a natural. On his fifteenth birthday, he snuck out and took the car to a party thrown for him. He got home safely, so from then on, he assumed he could get away with it.

"The night before he died, he raved to me about how one of his mates was in this sick band, and they had a gig the following night. Seth told me he was going to take the car and asked me to cover for him. I was unsure how exactly I could be helpful. I mean, the car was missing for Christ's sake. Surely my parents would notice that if they woke up and checked.

"Anyway... So the night of, he got out of bed around 11:00 pm and tells me he's leaving. I asked him if he was sure it was a good idea. I bloody asked him..." Harry chokes up and his voice trails off. This is clearly difficult for him to talk about. Tears have been streaming down his face since he began the story and he hasn't looked up at me once. My own eyes are watering now, tears on the brink of spilling over.

"Seth got annoyed with me and told me not to be childish, that he'd be fine. That was the last thing he ever said to me, y'know." I drop to my knees and hold Harry close, letting him burrow into my hair. God, this is awful. I knew Harry's brother died, but I was unaware of how forcefully it had impacted him. I had no clue how much he blamed himself. "So, because I felt bad for giving him grief about leaving, I did as he asked and kept a lookout for mom and dad waking up. They didn't. Not until two police officers showed up at our door.

"My parents rushed out the door, barely checking to make sure I was with them before speeding down the road toward the hospital. My mum screamed at anyone and everyone trying to get updates on my brother's condition. But nobody knew how severe his injuries were except the doctor, who was busy operating on him. So we had no clue that he was dying, we barely even knew the cause for him being rushed to the hospital before the doctor came out and informed us that Seth had succumbed to his wounds."

I run my hands through Harry's hair, "What happened to him?"

His head lifts and his vibrant green eyes meet mine, "He was on his way home from the gig when some drunken dickhead ran through a stoplight and hit the driver's side of Seth's car. Seth wasn't wearing his seat belt, so he... he was thrown from the car. The doctor said that he was already brain dead when he arrived at the hospital, and they did everything they could, but he was gone."

He pauses before retreating to the crook of my neck, "I never even got to say goodbye to him or that I was sorry."

I wipe tears from my cheeks and kiss Harry's temple, "I'm so sorry, baby. But that wasn't your fault. Your brother-"

"I'm not finished," he breathes against my skin, silencing me. "At the hospital, the police questioned me about what happened, if I knew anything. I had to admit to them, my parents, and ultimately myself that I had known Seth was taking the car and didn't stop him or tell my parents, and that it was all my fault. The officers told me over and over that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't have predicted what was going to happen. But I had; somehow I knew that if I let Seth go, something bad was going to happen. My gut told me it was all wrong, but I ignored it.