A Good Kind Of Different

Chapter 9

"Are we... Like... I mean... Was that okay, or was I getting cocky? 'Cause I don't even know where that came from."

He didn't say anything. He just sorta sat there awkwardly for a second.

"It- it was different."

I pretended like I didn't care all that much. While he was sort of startled and freaked out. He thought I liked him... But what if he isn't gay? Why did I fall for him so easily? He probably isn't even gay. I can't believe I did that. Ghee...

"But..."

My ears perked up. But? But what? Tell me... Pleaaaaassee tell me, Cas.

"It was a good kind of different."

A good kind of different. That was... Good. So maybe he... did like me. But... I can't just go out with him and kiss him and be his boyfriend... What would my friends think...?

"Yeah... Okay. So.... I don't think I was fully... aware of the situation. I don't know what came over me. So.... It didn't mean anything. And we'll never speak of it again."

Shouldn't have said that. The lights in his eyes went out... again... Because of me. Damn, that hurt. I should just tell him I love him... If I really do... Then I will tell him... Soon.. Soon.

"I- I should go to my locker now..."

He looked so sad. Did he really like me? I know I liked him. What was I doing?! I was letting the love of my life walk away, because I drove him away... I need to fix this. I know what to do.

I went to my 'friends' and told them about how I was Cas' friend and they were to be nice to him. They didn't like that... But I didn't care. Then they started walking away. I just sat there, thinking about what I had just done. Then Cas came and sat by me. I scratched the back of my head nervously and began:

"Sorry... I broke it off with my 'friends'. They weren't too keen on the whole... Idea... Of, well, you. So... I justified it, trying to set 'em straight and they just got up and left."

"Geez. I'm sorry! I... I didn't know... my intent was not conflict... In so sorry."

He offered me his sandwich.

"Do you... Want this?"

"No, thanks, sorry, I don't really like peanut butter."

"Dean...?"

"Hmm?"

He paused for a moment, looking at me.

"I... I think I... like like you- please don't hurt me."

He blocked himself and closed his eyes as if I was about to hit him. Yeah, right! Then he opened them slowly. I just pulled him to me and hugged him.

"Why the hell would I hurt you?"

I held him gently, stroking his back. He sat there like a kitten. Loosening his tensity.

"But you said... Last nights didn't mean anything..."

"And I didn't mean that. I... Was just scared you had rejected it... Cause you got all awkward and quiet and you looked as red as a tomato."

He turned red again.

"Come on. With me. We're going."