Flight Risk

Capitulo Trece

Pic of Crystal (Anna Tsuchiya) ---------------->

Tears pricked my eyes as I tried to breathe through my impending panic attack. Brad can’t be a coke addict, my mind fervently denied, he just can’t.

I held his hand to my chest as I silently begged for him to be okay. I’d seen a public service announcement about this. “Time is tissue,” I mumbled, “or was that for a stroke?” My heart hammered in my chest; I was starting to get tunnel vision and I couldn’t focus.

“911! I need to call 911!” I announced to myself since, other than Brad, there was no one to hear me or calm me down. Then I realized that I wasn’t even sure if he still had a pulse so I delayed my call in favor of placing my index and middle finger on his carotid artery. A strong, steady pulse beat a million miles a minute beneath my fingertips and I allowed myself to hope as I had not since I discovered him.

“Where am I and why are you pressing so hard on my neck?” he grumbled lowly.

“Oh my God, Brad!” I cried as I held him to me tightly, “I thought you were… I don’t know what I thought! We need to get you to a hospital!”

That seemed to snap him out of his disorientation real quick and in a hurry, “No! I was just really tired, because I hadn’t slept in a long time. I was just taking a nap! No big deal!”

I jerked away from him like he had just physically slapped me, “But that’s the thing! It is a big deal. You can’t keep lying to me and expect me to just go with it! You have a problem, Brad.”

His caustic laugh was nothing like I’d ever heard from him. Gone was the free spirited flirt that I’d known for most of my life. “But I can and you will. The signs were all there, Trinity. My late nights, weight loss, headaches and did you ever really believe my ‘allergies’ excuse? It’s not me with the problem, Trinity, it’s you.”

What probably hurt most was the ring of truth to his words. Had I ever truly believed that it was just allergies ailing him? The answer was staring me straight in the face, and it made me sick.

“Maybe,” I conceded, “but it takes one to know one. Does your mom or Sam know?”

“No and they aren’t going to find out from you are they?”

“Brad, they need to know. We should at least tell Sam. He’s your best friend. He can help you!” I pleaded quietly.

He looked at me contemplatively for a moment or two before he sighed, “Trinity, I love you. You know I do, but there is no ‘we’ in this; there’s just me and I don’t want either one to know. If you love me, even just a little bit, you won’t say anything either. To Sam, to my mom, not even to Derik.”

“But-”

“It’s not that big of a deal, it’s not like I use it very often. I’m not addicted or anything; I just use it when I need extra energy or when I don’t want to dream of her.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to protest that she would be sad to see him using drugs as a crutch and several other points when a loud rapping noise on the door interrupted our conversation, if you could even call it that. I quickly grabbed his little white baggy and dumped it in the toilet only moments before Trish let herself in. The tension in the air was immediate. Brad looked like he wanted to strangle me for flushing his stash, but he also looked nervous about whether or not I would rat him out.

The moment of truth occurred when she asked us if everything was alright. She was mostly looking at me as she said it; it almost looked like she knew that I knew something was up and was trying to convince me with her eyes to fess up since she knew she wouldn’t get it from Brad.