Learning to love Again(A Sandra Alva Fanfiction)

Chapter 14

I woke up next to Ashley. Sweat covered our bodies, we had left the a/c off. I groaned and tried to get up but Ashley's arm was over me. I grabbed it and threw it roughly over his own body. He remained asleep so i decided to take a shower. I turned the water on cold and sat there underneath the water before i heard knocking on the bathroom door.

"Lynn, i have to pee, can i come in", Ashley asked, sounding extremely tired. I unlocked the door and gave him the cue that it was ok to come in. I heard him lift the toilet seat and i felt devilish. I grabbed the plastic cup i used to wash my hair in the bath and filled it up with cold water. Once i heard Ashley flush i flung all of the water on him. I heard a shriek and then Ashley flung the shower curtains open. I tried to cover myself, but it didnt matter. Ashley picked me up out of the shower and flung me over his shoulder. He started walking toward the window, it wasnt like he was going to throw me out, and even if he wanted to he couldnt because the windows didnt open but an inch.

I hit his back in a futile attempt to escape from his grasp. He backed me up against the window so that everybody who happened to look up at the window could see my ass. I was laughing so hard i couldnt breath. Ashley let me off of his back, but still kept me pinned against the window. Our faces grew serious and i lunged at his lips. He was surprised but kissed me back eagerly. I felt his tongue running across my lips. I had my body presses as close as i could to his, my arms were wrapped around his neck. I pulled away suddenly and covered myself with a towel. 

When i turned back to Ashley he was smiling and touching his lips. I kept telling myself over and over that there was nothing romantic in any of this, i was simply getting my dying wish. I held a hand to my stomach and wondered if it had worked. 

"We can try it again tonight, but i want to rest down at the beach", I said before putting on my polka dot bikini and excusing myself. I walked down the hall before some idiot swung a door open and bumped into me. I was sprawled across the floor when i looked up to see Marti Rubels looking down at me with a look of shock. I groaned and laid my head back down on the floor. I heard footsteps behind Marti and a hand waved in front of my face. I looked up, already knowing who I would see.

"Hey Sandra", I said, she grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

"Marti, give us a moment", Sandra said, waving her hand at the hotel room. Marti went back into the hotel room and yelled something to one of the other guys.

"What are you doing here", I asked

"We're going back on tour", she answered. I felt tears spring into my eyes and quickly pushed them back. I was in her arms, crying my eyes out and she was holding me, sobs shaking her body. She kissed me and laced our fingers together. How could I love two completely different people so much? I had spent my whole life dating guys, but there was something different about Sandra, and with her it didn't matter that she was a girl. The love we had was pure and true.

"I'm coming with you", I said suddenly and Sandra stepped back and looked at me.

"What about chemo", she asked and I shook my head.

"I'm not doing chemo, I have almost no chance of surviving anyways, so why spend the rest of my life cooped up in a hospital bed, away from the world, with no way of living the days I have left". I saw tears in Sandra's eyes, but she agreed. It was better to live while I could. I heard footsteps approaching and saw Ashley behind Sandra.

"Hey Ash, Sandra's here", I said gesturing to Sandra. Sandra smiled and gave Ashley a big hug.

"Hey bro, how's it going, I really appreciate you doing this for Lynn, though it would probably make more sense if you like... haha... never mind, I guess it's fine", Sandra said, chuckling softly.

Sandra went back into the room to get her bathing suit on so she could join us at the beach. I looked at Ashley and felt immediately bad.

"You're practically just using me", he said with such sadness that I almost cried again.

"Yes"

He hung his head low and a small sad smile formed at his lips.

"Wow, I didn't expect you to be so blunt about it", he said

"Yes"

"Yes what, what is yes", he raised his voice dangerously and I felt tears spring to my eyes. I hugged him tightly and he didn't pull away. I put my lips close to his ear.

"I love you Ashley, but I love Sandra, and i'm so confused, I want you, and her, I want both of you, but I cant have both of you" I whispered

I felt his breath on my ear and it sent shivers through my body.

"You're the first person I have felt this way with, I will always love you, I can deal with spending just this time with you, as close as we can possibly be, I will cherish my time with you forever Ms. Larsen, Sandra loves you, and you love her, and she's special to you, so be with her, not me", he moved away and kissed my lips softly and lightly, like a peck. I could feel the same spark I felt when I kissed Sandra in that one little kiss. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Sandra in a plain black one-piece with shorts covering the bottom.

"what's going on", she asked and I knew she had seen the kiss. She looked pissed.

"We just had a little talk, and we resolved everything", I said, smiling at Ashley. I turned back to Sandra and she looked angrier.

"I'm fine with you guys doing the do, but I am not fine with kissing, its not necessary and its cheating", she said angrily.

"It didn't mean a thing, it was more of a brother to little sister kiss", I explained, Sandra's face softened a little bit, but she still looked angry. Suddenly, her lips were on mine and I was pressed against the wall. She put her arms next to both of my cheeks against the wall, pressing up against me further. I pushed her away.

"what was that for", I asked

"you're mine, nobody elses", she said and I frowned. I wasn't anyone possession.

"No im not YOURS", I said angrily

"then we need to take a break", she said before retreating back into the hotel room and slamming the door. Ashley looked so upset, I wanted to comfort him, but he was too sad. He knew Sandra longer than I did, they were like brother and sister, and I may have just ruined that.