Virgin |h.s|

20

two weeks.

We moved into our new, beautiful home, Harry's family stayed with us for a few days, we somehow managed to furnish the entire place, and have a house warming party with only our closest friends.

It was on the fourteenth day; today, that I got an unexpected call from my brother Vince. He was twenty two, lived on his own with his golden retriever named 'Gaz', and was in fewer words, very horny. He had memberships with multiple pornography sites and spent a lot of his time cooped up in his room doing the ungodly.

So imagine my surprise when I got a call from my brother, whom I haven't spoken to since I left, telling me that he 'accidentally' stumbled upon a 'casting' video with me in it.

It took two weeks for our perfect little world to tumble down around us.

Harry had been out at work since seven this morning and it was now eight in the evening. I hadn't bothered to change from my oversized t-shirt, or brush my teeth, or make breakfast, lunch or dinner. I simply just sat on the cold leather couch all day and never moved.

I didn't know what to think, what to do... He said he wouldn't record us having sex unless I said it was okay, and I didn't at any point say that I was comfortable with it. But there's nothing I can do now, it's out there and people are viewing a video of me at my most vulnerable state and I felt violated.

Silent tears slipped down my cheeks in little streams, but that was all. I didn't have the capacity to whimper or pick up my cellphone from the coffee table. At that moment I was a bystander in a dead persons body, I could watch on but I couldn't do anything.

A set of keys jingled in the keyhole, followed by the door being pushed open and lights being flicked on. Harry's heavy feet started ascending the stairs but suddenly all noise ceased as he caught a glimpse of me in a fetal position in the living room.

"Desiree?" He hesitantly called my name, cautiously making his way back down the stairs and into the living room.

He stopped moving once he was standing beside the coffee table, he clenched his hands and then unclenched them in a nervous manner. He knew something was wrong, and he knew it was his fault. He just didn't know what he had done at this point.

"Have you moved at all today?" It was obvious that he was trying to avoid the oncoming subjects but that wasn't going to happen this time.

Instead of answering his question I lazily reached forward to retrieve my Iphone from the table and brought up the webpage with our sex tape on it. I tossed it at his stomach and watched him as he struggled to catch it.

(Listen to the song attached; I Found - Amber Run)

Harry looked at me confusedly before looking down at the phone screen, and that's when realization hit him. In that very moment every emotion possible flashed through his eyes and I felt a fire kindling in the pit of my stomach.

"Desiree, I swear I can explain all of this." He looked genuinely sorry but I couldn't look at him any longer

"You expect me to sit here and listen to you?" My voice was croaky from barley speaking all day but I still managed to yell at my fullest potential. "How could you, Harry. I trusted you. I moved in here with you and went against everything my moral side was telling me."

Harry's eyes were pleading with mine, begging for me to listen to what he had to say and understand.

"We were going under. The business was at it's lowest peak and I needed to do something about it as soon as I could. I swear if I knew then that I was going to fall so deeply in love with you, I wouldn't have done it. I've been trying ever since to get the video off the internet but there are so many loopholes."

"So you used me, fed me lies and pretended to care about me when really all you wanted was the view count. Harry, I've never been so disgusted in myself." I was now full on crying and Harry tried to comfort me but I flinched away from him touch.

"Don't say that-" I shook my head at him, silently telling him that I wasn't done talking.

"I don't want to get hurt... I ran away from home to get away from emotional pain just. Like. This." I took a minute to calm my breathing before continuing. "I fell in love too fast, and too hard and look what's happened. It should never have happened." I quietly concluded and Harry sat there shaking his head furiously.

"Don't say that." He yelled, causing my whole body to jump. "Don't you dare say that, Desiree. It was a mistake and I'm doing everything I can to take it back." Harry's eyes started brimming with tears and I found myself caressing his cheeks and wiping away the fallen tears.

"I just don't think I can do this anymore." His hands traveled up my arms and attached themselves to mine, holding them firmly against his face.

"Of course you can, and you will because I love you and I know that you love me too. Please don't throw this all away, I'll do anything." I tried bringing my hands back to my lap but he wouldn't let me, his grip on both my hands and heart was too strong for me to fight against. "Please."

I nodded my head slowly and if he weren't looking right at me he would've missed it. I wasn't sure that I could give my all right now but he was all I had... And right now I was scared and confused and I needed my mum, but she wasn't there. She never would be.

As we sat in silence, I felt it was the best time to bring up the topic that I'd been dreading for the past five weeks. I didn't want to believe it because we were so careful, it was like some kind of sick joke.

"Harry, I- I..." My chest started heaving and I suddenly couldn't breath. I didn't want to say the word aloud, because then it would be a reality. One that neither of us were ready for.

"What is it? He encouraged with his soft green, teary eyes.

"I don't know what to do and I don't know how you're going to react and I'm scared." I was in hysterics and I was mumbling but Harry told me it was okay and to keep going. "I think I'm pregnant... I haven't had my period in two months and I don't know what to do. I'm not ready to be a mum, I don't know what I'm doing and I have no support from my family." It was then that everything started to settle in my mind and I no longer knew what to do with myself.

Harry sat staring at me like a deer in headlights, almost as scared as me. He didn't say or do anything for awhile as he let what I had just said process in his mind.

I moved to the other end of the couch and laid facing the back of the chair, hiding myself as best I could. After a few minutes had passed Harry moved over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling his face in between my cheek and shoulder. He kissed my chin and stroked my stomach with his thumb.

"We'll figure it out."