No Regrets

Chapter Fifty-Five - What If

KATIE'S POV

  Saying goodbye to Mollie was unimaginably painful. I kissed and hugged her, and I kept hoping that something would change and Mollie would be able to stay here. I kept hoping up until the moment Dominick and Mom returned home. Dad embraced Mom, who was crying, and the two of them stayed in the living room.

"Dom-" I started to say but was cut off by Dominick.

"I did what was right. It's done now." He said and ran up the stairs. I heard his bedroom door slam shut and the clicking of the lock. I looked back and forth from my parents to the stairs, unsure of where to go or where to stay. I couldn't offer much comfort to my parents or Dominick; but I had to try. I chose to go to Dominick first, my parents had each other, Dominick was all alone in his room.

   I raised my hand to knock on the door when I heard it, the sound of my brother crying. Not the loud and obvious kind, the ones that sound like laughter for a second until you realize the truth. I lowered my hand and walked back to my room feeling helpless and defeated. I make my way to my head and let myself fall on it. After a few minutes and a few tears of my own, I flip myself over onto my back and look up at the ceiling. What if none of this happened? What if Nikki was still here? What if everything could be different? I shut my eyes and let my mind wander.

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   "You left the milk out." Mom says as she places the halfway full milk gallon on the table in front of me. I silently scold myself and give Mom an apologetic smile. She lets out a sigh and smiles, she kisses the top of my head. "Don't study so hard that you forget to breathe." She teases.

   She grabs her briefcase and jacket, "Be home around seven tonight. Love you." She says. I hear the front door close and I get up from the table to lock the front door. I'm halfway to the door when I hear someone walking down the stairs. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dominick. He has his earbuds in and listening to music on his iPod. In his hands is a basket of laundry, I wave at him. He doesn't notice and continues walking to the laundry room.

   I return to the kitchen table where i've been studying for my semester finals. I'm just getting back into the rhythm of studying when my concentration breaks by Dad. "Hey Champ, think you could load the dishwasher?" He asks. "I forgot I had a meeting and I'm already running late." He ruffles my hair and pours coffee into his to-go mug.

   I get up from the kitchen table and start working on the dishes. "Katie!" A hear a voice call from the downstairs hallway. I'm not completely done rising off the dishes. I quickly wash my hands with some soap and shut off the water before hurrying upstairs. I enter the bedroom, which used to be Mom's study but Dominick needed the space more. I find my older brother kneeling on the ground in front of Mollie. "She's about to take her first steps, I can feel it." He says with a smile. I smile and kneel beside him. "Come on Mollie." I say as I clap my hands together.

   Mollie stands up and sticks her foot out to walk and- falls back down. Dominick catches her and stands her up again, he softly cheers her own.
My brother might be young, but a child couldn't have a more devoted father. From the moment the two lines appeared on the stick, he's been dedicated and determined to what's best for the baby. No one could question his parenting capability. He's doing good in school, as always, and he's working a job at a grocery store as a cashier.

   After nearly ten minutes of trying to get Mollie to take her first steps, Dominick apologizes for distracting me. I wave off the apology. "I love Mollie, she's never a bother." I say with a smile. I stand up at the perfect time because I hear the doorbell. I look at my watch, they're back sooner than expected. I hurry over to the front door and open it. Aria and Nikki stand at the door both with handfuls of grocery bags, I welcome them in and shut the door behind them. After Mollie was born, both Aria and Nikki moved out of their parents' house and moved in with us. This has made for a tight fit, Nikki and Dominick share a room, Aria and I have our own, and the seven of us share three bathrooms. Not too bad, until it comes to the morning times and whenever we've all had one bean burrito too many.

"Is Dominick still trying to get Mollie to walk?" Aria asks as she places the bags on the counter. I nod my head. Aria and I are quite good friends, perhaps its because we share a major common interest.

"My baby won't walk without me, if she does i'll kill myself." Nikki jokes as she begins to put up the groceries.

I roll my eyes at her statement, "Don't even joke." I say.

   Nikki apologies, "You girls got the rest covered?" She asks a few moments later. I nod my head and look to Aria for confirmation, she nods her head.

"Did you get an email back from them?"Aria asks as she places  the new jars of baby food in the cabinet.

I let out a sigh, "Nope, but I'm still holding out hope."

"I'm holding out hope as well." Aria says, she gives my shoulder a reassuring pat.

   Sending an email to my biological parents who both have new families of their own was a hard decision. However, it's agonizing to wait for a response. After we finish putting away the groceries I decide to stop by to see Mollie.

   Dominick is relaxing on the bed, browsing on his phone while Nikki plays on the floor with Mollie. "Any luck getting her to take those first steps?" I ask.

   Nikki shakes her head. "No, she'll probably take about Dominick. His mother says he never walked, he ran." I hear Dominick chuckle.

"We better buy tennis shoes for her then." He says. Dominick doesn't have a necessarily good relationship with his biological mother, but Nikki didn't want Mollie to not get to meet her grandmother. Mollie is already down one, after Nikki and Aria moved in with us they cut off contact with their parents completely. Dominick's biological mother has proven to be a good grandmother, she spoils Mollie in whatever way she can, mostly with love.

   I smile, "Maybe Mollie and I can start an aunt and niece running club. Auntie and Me." I say. Despite my smile, Dominick and Nikki can tell something is wrong, I must be an easy book to read. Nikki picks Mollie up and sets her on the bed with a toy. Dominick grabs Mollie and sits her on his lap, "Okay, Katie, your turn to do the talking." he says.

   I let out a sigh, "Two months and still nothing, I know that you all prepared me for this outcome but it's just hard. I want to know more about where I come from, especially on my mother's side, I want to just... know more." I say. "I love you guys, and you are certainly more than enough and you're my family but... there are questions you can't answer."

   Dominick lets out a sigh, "That's understandable." he says. He makes a face at Mollie who smiles and giggles. He then turns back to me, "Look, maybe you won't get answers and maybe you will, but you know the important stuff. You were given a better life by being adopted. You have the parents, Mollie, Aria, Nikki, and me, we are always going to be and be your family. You're stuck with us for life."

   Nikki smiles, "I don't have any intention of going anywhere." she takes Mollie into her arms. "As a mother, you want to protect your child from all hurt. You sometimes have to make tough choices, maybe your mother is protecting you from something worse. I know that I would do whatever I had to for Mollie, even if it was horribly hard."

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   I open my eyes and sit up in bed. I let out a sigh and run my fingers through my hair. During times like these, no matter how many run through your mind, "What if"s don't matter. And there's no use focusing on them.

***AUTHOR'S NOTE***

Hello everyone, thank you all for your support and patience. I am finished up with the school year and I am ready to write some more. I enjoyed writing this chapter, it's a bit of a light-hearted but sweet chapter (in my opinion).

THANK YOU FOR READING! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

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