A Known Stranger

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

                I love you.

                Many threw those three words around like if they were nothing, but Ryder? Ryder didn’t. Throughout the entire relationship that he and I had, not once had he ever told me that he loved me. Hell, I never heard him say the word love.

                Ryder, although was extremely affectionate when he wanted to be, he was never emotional. He never showed any other emotion besides joy. He was always smiling, laughing and joking around. It was rare when I saw something other than that coming from him. Much like Cole, Ryder was closed off. And even though Ryder and I were involved before and best friends before then, I knew that he still kept a lot from me.

                Like things about his parents and why they were hardly ever around.

                Like how he and his older brother never talked anymore.

                I knew Ryder had his own demons, hell we all did, and even though I now questioned a lot about him, I knew one thing for sure, and that was that he would never say the word love unless he truly meant it. So the moment Ryder told me he loved me, I stopped walking- hell I stopped breathing.

                “Damnit Fae,” Ryder sighed. I heard his heavy footsteps as he advanced towards me. I had frozen in my spot, both of my feet glued to the tile flooring, eyes wide staring ahead of me. “I’m in love with you, okay?” he said, his ice cold hands turning me around so I was facing him.

                He was staring at me, eyes wide and pleading for me to say something back. But I didn’t. I just stared at him with hollow eyes and a straight face.

                “I’m sorry,” he added after I didn’t bother to respond to his confession of love. “I’m sorry I hurt you, that I was such an asshole and cheated on you. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you better. I’m sorry, Fae.”

                “Sorry isn’t going to fix anything, Ryder.” I said bluntly. “You can be sorry all you want, but it isn’t going to fix the fact that you cheated on me with someone I saw like a sister. Sorry isn’t going to fix the fact that you hurt me, and telling me that you love me isn’t going to make me forgive you.”

                I took a step back, putting distance between us. Ryder’s cold hands dropped from my shoulders and fell limb at his sides. He had an impassive look on his face, but I could see hurt and guilt swimming the depth of his grey orbs.

                “I don’t forgive you, Ryder.” I told him. “And I don’t love you… not anymore. I won’t be one of those girls. The ones who go back to their douche bag of a boyfriend just because he apologizes for his mistakes and confesses his love for her. I’m not stupid. If you cheated on me once, you’ll do it once more, and I won’t put myself in the predicament again.”

                Ryder opened his mouth to say something and took a step forward, his arms outstretched for his hands to clasp down onto my shoulders again, but I took a few steps back and shook my head in disagreement. Turning around, I walked away from him, my head held up high as I silently walked towards the front doors of the school.

--

                I laid on my bed like a starfish, staring up at my ceiling watching the fan turn in circles. I was tired, exhausted, and for the first night in a while, I slept in my own bed. I had texted Noah after getting out of work, telling him that I wouldn’t be able to go over tonight. He asked why, but I ignored the text message, shutting off my phone and throwing it in the depths of my bag for me to retrieve tomorrow morning. For now, all I wanted was time for myself and silence.