Emma

Emma Says Goodbye

Emma is about to figure out something pretty funny about life.  The fact that life is unpredictable, and doesn't always go your way.  It's time for something major to happen, something no kid ever wants.

Emma fussed with her shoelaces this morning, it was her last year of middle school, and since growing up in 6th grade and realizing that the world was a lot different from per prior and expectations.  She kicked her shoes off her feet, and waited for Jeremy outside of the school building.  She had gotten her first failed grade, and it was in algebra.  She hid her grades under a sewer grate and hoped to god she'd never have to present them to her mom.

She didn't think her mother would mind so much, but she couldn't be too sure.  She saw how Jeremy's mom behaved when he god a less than decent grade.   She didn't want to see the same thing from her mother.  

Emma had conversations with her grandma before, and if Grandparents really left a reflection of themselves in their children - then there was no way Emma was showing her mom her grades.  She didn't want to be yelled at, she didn't want to feel worthless.  She certainly didn't want to feel under appreciated simply because she got a not so fabulous grade.

She picked up her shoes and set them face forward in front of her and waited for Jeremy.  He said he'd meet with her at 5, same as always.  When he walked outside, he sat down next to her and tried to figure out what the matter was.  She had a rather hang-dog look on her face, like happiness was the furthest from her reach at the moment.

"You Okay Em's?"  He asked.

She grunted in disapproval.  "I hate everything."

"Oh come on, you don't hate everything."  He replied as he gave her a hug around the shoulders.  "You don't hate me do you?"

"No, you're my best friend."

"That's good to hear."

Then, Emma looked up to the sky with hate in her eyes and started to think about whether she'd find anything she was good at even remotely.  She couldn't think of anything she was really great at, but she knew she was okay at helping people learn things.  She could be a teacher, but not if these grades got any worse.  

Then she said it, a word she'd been told not to say in class, a word she hadn't said ever but wanted to say since the beginning of middle school, "Fuck."  She muttered.  She leaped up from the sidewalk and started screaming to the sky, "Fuck!  I'm so fucking done with all this fucking shit.  Fuck it all.  I fucking quit!"

She sat back down, and Jeremy looked surprised.  That was the first time in his life he'd ever heard Emma Thomas cuss.  He didn't know what to do, so he sat quietly beside her and put his arm around her.  

They were very quiet for half a minute.  Emma didn't want to walk home, even though it was just up the street.  Emma continued to shove that piece of paper out of sight.  She sat there for what seemed like ever, hoping that if she stayed sitting down long enough that this feeling would go away.

Emma was 15 now, and everything sucked.  She had started to like people who didn't like her back.  She started making attempts to be good at something and she still couldn't find anything.  She tried her hand at everything, and still didn't find something she was talented at.  She wasn't getting all A's anymore.  

Emma's cellphone started ringing, it was her mother.  She answered it, and listened to the news that would make this day much worse.  Emma had a birthday party for buddy a couple days ago, celebrating his advanced age.  She hoped she could have another birthday party with her dog sometime in the future, and her mother called to say that Buddy wasn't getting up, and that they took him to the vet while she was at school.

Buddy still died, but he died happy.  Emma pet him and gave him a couple treats before she left for school that morning, and told him, "You'll always be my best buddy."  

Now the grades didn't seem so bad, but she was outright bawling over her buddy.  Jeremy held onto her really tightly, and asked her if everything was okay.  When she told him what happened to buddy, they were both miserable.  Jeremy was a lifetime friend of hers, and he'd been over there so often that he and Buddy were best pals too.  

Buddy was just too old, and he wasn't feeling too good for the past couple weeks.  Emma got up and started running home.  Jeremy followed close behind her, and when they got to the house, there was an urn in the middle of the room.  It had a little purple paw print on it, and Buddy's collar around it.  

After a couple hours, Emma and her father drove out to the park, and dug a little hole for him.  After they put the ashes in, Emma said a few words for him.  She even placed a small clay stone on the spot where he was buried, and labeled it "My Best Buddy."

Emma couldn't simply describe him as a good dog, he was there for her every day, he had a cute cheerful smile, and tall ears.  He would run with her when they were little, and he would sit and read with her when they got big.  She was going to miss him so much.  He was so much more than a good dog.  

Emma's parents didn't ask about her grades, and they let her stay at the park for as long as she wanted.  Jeremy sat down with her until it was 11:00 at night.  Marie and Carter already went home, but Emma kept her stance.

Jeremy placed a dandelion on the clay stone, and paid his respects.  Buddy was going to be missed very much.  After a little while sitting in silence.  Emma started hugging Jeremy, trying not to try anymore.

"It's okay Emma, Buddy will be alright.  I'm sure he's in a much better place."

"How do you know?"

"Well, all dogs go to Heaven."  He replied, "Scientific fact."

Emma nodded her head, and turned to face Jeremy to say thank you.  She caught a look at his eyes, and wondered if she'd bothered him too much today.  She bickered about her grades, she cussed up a storm, and then after-school it got worse when her mother told her that Buddy died.

Jeremy just patted her on the back and said, "It's going to be okay, Em's."

She hoped he was right.  Because everything felt so terrible now.  Everything seemed so awful that there was absolutely no cure for it.  She wanted things to get better, but they seemed to be getting progressively worse this year - especially today.

She stayed there for the rest of the night, and oddly, Jeremy didn't go home, he didn't even move.  He stayed there with her even when the grass stained his jeans, and even when it got too cold and he didn't have a jacket.  He didn't get up unless Emma stopped crying.  He was there to make sure that even though Buddy was gone, someone would be there to make her feel better.

So this is an unfortunate chapter in Emma's life.  Everyone's had a dead pet, and everyone's had to deal with that heartbreak.  But that doesn't mean things don't get better.  As long as you keep something in memory, it will stay with you.