Hey Angel (c.w.)

Eighteen.

"If you loved me, why'd you leave me?"

----------

{Luna}

"Cole" I breathe out and then jog over to him already in his Mid Atlantic uniform.

"Hey Luna" he says with a big smile, but it shrinks a bit when he sees the look on my face. I'm having a lot of trouble saying goodbye.

I embrace him in a tight hug with my head buried in his neck while I'm on my tip toes.

"Good luck Cole...It's for the world" I say trying my best not to break down.

"I will" he says and puts his hand on the small of my back "thanks for seeing me before I go out there"

I can tell that he is excited and nervous.

"I love you so much Cole" I say looking away from his eyes after I release him from my hold.

"love you too...?" He says as if he is about to question what's wrong "see you after the game"

I face my back toward him. I don't want him to see me cry anymore. I bit my lip to stop the tears "goodbye Cole..."

I slowly walk in the direction of the grove so I can get to the medical room. That is where I will end all the pain.

My shaking hands try to pull the key from my pocket that I stole from Gwen's office to unlock the room, but it's difficult because my eyes are too watery for me to see anything.

I don't know why I'm crying. I want to leave right? Yes I do, and it's too late to change my mind.

"Open goddamn it!" I yell to myself & the locked door as the tears start to roll down my cheeks

The door swings open when the key finally turns because I was pushing so hard against it because I want to end it before I can change my mind.

"For mom. For Luca" I say to myself after I turn on the lights while I gasp for air after each word I say.

I drag my heavy feet to search the room's cabinets for any pills that I can find.

My head is pounding with what ifs. What if I go? What if I stay?

"Where are the pills!" I cry and throw everything out of the cabinet that's in my way.

I find about ten bottles filled with pills I'm not sure of, but I grab one anyways and I sob loudly when it's finally in my hands.

I try to open it, but it's not working just like the door.

"Just open!" I yell and hit the neck of the bottle multiple times against the counter until it breaks and pills fall everywhere on the floor.

I run to the sink—tripping over my feet as I do so—and fill up a small paper cup that I found in the trash can.

I get a small hand full of the pills still in the bottle and swallow all of them with the water. I start to choke on some, but I force myself to consume them.

After three more handfuls, I fall to the floor crying and I quickly pull out two letters that I wrote. I set them beside me.

"I'm s-sorry dad" I cry with my face in my cold hands "I love you s-so much"

"I-I'm s-so sorry" I say again and pull on my hair

My crying is slowly coming to a stop and I know the end of my life is within reach.

As I'm breathing my last breaths and crying my last tears I think of something. It's love.

I realize, now, that love never dies, it never goes away, and it never fades...as long as you hold on to it.

"I'm sorry Cole. Our love will never fade..." I whisper as my heavy eyelids close and I take my final breath with my face full of tears resting on the cold floor.

-

Luna's lifeless body lies on the floor of the medical room with two letters and many pills surrounding her.

The locked door's handle jiggles. Someone is trying to get in.

The person who opens the door is a volunteer worker that was trying to get medical tape to wrap a player's ankle, but instead screams in shock after seeing Luna on the floor.

She runs out the door frantically screaming hoping that someone would hear her cries for help.

"Please! Someone call an ambulance!" Was what the girl screamed multiple times.

A few employes run toward the door of the room to hear what was going on. Gwen is one of those people

"It's L-Luna, I think she k-killed herself" the hyperventilating girl said to the small crowd while pointing to the medical room "there are p-pills spilled, a-and they're e-everywhere!"

"Did you check her pulse!?" A man asks with wide eyes

"N-No I didn't—please just help me!"

Three people run inside and the girl who discovered Luna quickly calls 911.

Gwen leans against a fellow employee and starts to sob on his shoulder

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?" The soft voice asks from the other line.

"P-Please send someone immediately. A girl–she tried to—" the hysterical girl is cut off by the 911 operator

"Hun I need you to take deep breaths for me okay? What is your location?" The operator types quickly on her computer

"I'm b-by the little l-league world series d-dorms on Montgomery Pike road. Please send help! Why aren't they here yet!?" The girl asks now sitting on the floor with her knees to her chest.

"There are on their way–"

"I h-hear sirens! I have to g-go"

"No don't hang u-" the crying girl hangs up going against what the operator was going to say, and gets to her feet. She runs out of the secluded area for the players only, and runs to where she hears the sirens to bring them to the lifeless Luna.

There are many people at Lamade stadium because of the World Series game being played today. Many people on the grass and in the stands get to their feet, or turn around to see the ambulance follow a crying girl towards the grove.

Michael Stotz is already at the scene when the ambulance arrives. He is in tears.

The ambulance quickly parks and four paramedics rush out of the car and into the medical room with a stretcher.

The paramedics tell everyone to get out, and then one checks Luna's pulse once more.

The paramedics pull out the stretcher—with Luna in a body bag—from the medical room, and the few employees and loving father of Luna gasp or cry harder once they see her.

Two male paramedics strap the girl in the back of the ambulance, and a female paramedic walks up to Michael Stotz and hands him two letters

"These were beside her when we found her..."

Before he goes to join the paramedics in the back of the ambulance he shakily hands a letter to the volunteer that first found Luna.

"Give this to Cole Wagner"

---------

You matter–even if you feel nothing in your life is going right or if you feel alone–you matter.