Yearning

Chapter 12: So This Is Love?

CRISTIANO'S POV

"Cristiano you were much to hard with Rose," Papa continued, "she went through a lot today with the bite and then bullet shot for you to come and hurt her emotionally after she risked her life to protect us, to protect YOU."

"Papa is right," Tadeo began, "first the Irish two months ago, then Nonno's test earlier today, then these guys and on top of that to have to put up with your anger outbursts? Non è giusto." (It's not right.)

I just looked at them as I sat on the floor still mad at the fact she would jeopardize her life in that way for a low life scumbag like me.

I started to tune them out as all three of them kept scolding me when Leo came flying onto the roof.

"Uncle C! It's Rose...she's....she's tapping out," he said in between breathes.

"What in the world? Speak english boy," Nonno said confused with Leo's out of shape talking.

"She's blacking out Nonno. She's dying," I shot up and ran down to the hallway where I saw Angelo kneeled next to her by the stairs.

"Come on Rose stay with me," Angelo said as he tapped her face lightly

I rushed over trying to keep the worst out of my mind but couldn't help to think I might actually loose her before having her.

"Mio amore! Resta con me! Non mi lasciare," I cried to her as I got to where she was. ( My love! Stay with me! Don't leave me!)

I picked her up and her eyes shut completely as I ran her down to the infirmary.

"Get her hooked up! If she dies I'll kill every one of you," I yelled with desperation as I set her down on a bed causing the nurses to scramble around like ants in the rain and put an IV on her arm as everyone else came rushing in.

"Cristiano you must calm down bambino," Nonno said as he walked up to me.

"I can't loose her Nonno. She's the first person I've ever loved. I can't loose her not this soon. Not ever," I replied with tears going down my face like rivers not caring who saw at this point.

This felt horrible.

This feeling of lose and emptiness that was taking over my being. My heart felt like it was shattered, stepped on, reconstructed, and shattered again.

Is this what loss of love feels like? Does this mean that I really do love her?

Nonno hugged me and kissed my head.

He made me feel like such a kid but I didn't mind it. Yeah me a tough mafia boy liked feeling like a vulnerable child around his Nonno.

Soon I felt more arms begin wrap around me.

"Mama," I said my voice cracking when I turned and saw her behind me.

"She's going to be alright Cristiano. Remember you two are but one wolf," she assured me, "she'll give up if you do so all you need to do is believe in her and that she'll survive this."

Mama's soothing voice could even make dying a pleasurable experience.

"This love you two share is stronger than death itself," Papa said as he walked up to the group hug, "you need to tell her Cristiano."

I nodded my head against Nonno's chest and let go of him.

Mama kept hugging me and I didn't mind it because that's all I wanted and needed.

As a kid I'd reject being hugged by this wonderful person and now, that I was on the brink of losing the one I loved, her comforting embrace was all I yearned for.

"We'll be in the living room waiting for you two," Nonno said as he and Tadeo made their way out of the room.

"We'll be there in a bit Nonno," I replied as he closed the infirmary door.

"Unfortunately I have a meeting at the restaurant with some of my men so I'll be leaving you in your mama's hands," Papa said as he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Don't worry amore we'll keep you updated if anything happens to her," Mama told him and with that he left the room.

"Is this what love is mama," I asked her.

"What do you mean bambino," she asked as she let go.

"Is this fear of loosing Rose," I began, "is this what love is?"

She smiled and took my hands in her own, "It's only a part of it bambino. Love is so much more but that's for both you and Rose to find out and experience together."

I nodded but wasn't to satisfied with the answer.

I wanted to know exactly what love was and how to keep it growing strong.

"Come let's go to living room and wait with every one else bambino," Mama said as she went towards the door.

I looked at Rose and it pained me to see her laying there hurt because of my stupid outburst.

"Non cessare di combattere amore mio. Io credo in te.," I whispered before walking out of the infirmary and closing the door behind me. (Don't stop fighting my love. I believe in you.)

So this is love huh?

I hate that it's painful but I don't mind that it's with Rose.

I prefer to be in love and suffer with her than anyone else in this world.