P.I.E. Operation: PARASITIC

XXXII: Pile O'Bones

"Sorry, sir." Johnny Toast pulled the trigger on the possessed zombie piglet with a hint of regret in his eyes. He didn't like killing beings whether living, half-living, or nonliving. In fact, he usually spared ghosts if they seemed less hostile. But there was nothing he could do this time--he'd almost died (again).

Black blood spewed out of its ugly head where the bullet went through. It squealed proudly for the last time, but in defeat.

The force of the gun merely tapped him with pressure. Johnny fell into a sitting position anyway as if the shining weapon punched him.

He sighed. "I'm just glad that's over with. We might as well give the beast some honor." He said, chuckling weakly and picking up its flaming sword. "Ow! This thing is hot!" He dropped it; it stuck in the dirt near the pig's head.

"Well, close enough." Gertrude said. "...What are you doing?" She asked Johnny after a small pause.

Toast cut off a long part on the end of his sleeve with his melting knife and tied it around the hilt of the better blade. The cloth easily lit on fire. "And that, undead sir, is why you don't mess with a paranormal investigator." He said to the corpse, his voice booming and serious.

He turned back to Gertrude, who was staring into space and rocking back and forth on her heels.

She quickly turned towards him too with a wide smile, snapping back into reality. "Oh, is it time to go?"

"I don't know... This place is kind of endless..." Toast said, stroking the stubble on his chin.

"Then we might as well go forward! I'll lead the way." Mama said, stepping forward.

"O-Oh, alright." Toast stuttered.

They crossed paths and avoided unrealistic streams of lava. They ran from a few creatures (most commonly hopping globs of lava). They walked through a montage of scenes until Mama Gertrude came to a sudden stop.

"Ack!" Johnny's face squished into Gertrude's hair. He moved back fast, slightly uncomfortable at the contact. "H-Hey..." He coughed, breaking the sentence. "What's wrong?"

Mama sighed. "More trouble..."

"Ay, me. What is it this time?" He came out from behind of Mama to see what was in front of her and gasped. "Another portal!"

"Yes, but...!" Gertrude started, staring at the ground.

Johnny followed her gaze. A charred-looking skeleton skull stared back up at him dolefully (although it had no eyes). His eyes widened at instinct, but then calmed down instantly. "Oh... It-It's just... a skeleton!"

"What do you mean, just a skeleton? What if it's the last person who tried to get through the portal but died on the way here? What if it comes to life like all of the others we've seen and it starts shooting arrows at us?" Gertrude said, clutching her crowbar. She was ready to crush the creepy skull if it began to move.

"Um, well..." Johnny was visibly sweating. He was fearful of dying before he ever returned home without anyone but Gertrude knowing where he was. He tried to point out the positives, even if he was more of a negative thinker. "I... The skeleton could have washed up from the lava...?"

"But John, it's not water! Bones will more than likely disintegrate in the lava... and don't people usually get all... rocky when encased in it?"

"Uh..." Toast was getting more and more red faced. "W-Well, you won't have to worry about arrows being shot at us... It has a cool sword instead!" He picked up the shiny black blade and it shook along with his hands.

The skeleton's hand moved up and held Johnny's leg.

He made a girlish squealing noise. "Get off of me!"

Gertrude swung her crowbar at the bony fingers. They retreated, but she also hit Toast's leg in the process.

The Brit dropped the weapon, which then stuck into the undead's skull like a sword in stone. Toast fell on his side, holding his bruising ankle and straining to hold back tears. His half exposed arm was melting a shape into the weak rock on the ground. Gertrude tried to apologize, but he had already squeaked out "It's okay" several times.

While the two of them worked to get Toast back up again, the ash-covered shell of a former human reformed into a standing figure.

Gertrude and Johnny, who were now sitting down, looked up in awe as the undead creature drew the strange blade out of its skull. A noticeable green liquid was pouring out of the forehead of the skeleton's skull and dripping from the tip of the sword.

"P-P-Poison?" Johnny's face went white.

"How can you tell?" Gertrude said, getting up to face the challenger. She held her crowbar in two hands like a baseball bat. She stared it dead in the eyes that it didn't have; her expression showed more of insanity than menace.

"I don't know, but... just avoid it!" Johnny attempted to get up and help, but Mama stopped him.

"You're in no shape to fight." She said softly with a sweeter smile instead of her creepy one. She snapped back to her frightening grin right afterwards as soon as she caught the sight of the monster, though. Her eyes glowed blood red.

As a result, Toast worriedly watched her.

She smashed the skull to the side, fracturing it.

The withered skeleton didn't favor her confident nature. It turned its head back into position, revealing the missing teeth and indented bone. It raised the mysterious blade, missing a hit to Gertrude's throat.

"Nice try." Mama said, sticking out her tongue. She tried breaking its arm off, but the skeleton blocked, clashing the crowbar with the blade. This made her slightly flustered. She swung the weapon again, knocking the monster's ribs out in a home run.

Johnny cried out and dodged the flying rib cage. It fell into a puddle of lava and disintegrated.

Not knowing whether or not the P.I.E. member was hit, she hesitantly checked back at him. She sighed in relief when he was crouched in a ball to protect himself from the blow.

He lifted his hands off the top of his head and automatically locked wide eyes with hers, screaming "GERTRUDE!"

As a final hit, the skeleton sliced her side. Blood spurted out of the wound and that strange green liquid had been injected in her system.

The creature fell into a motionless pile of bones once again, still holding onto the sword. It gave her a toothy, lifeless skeleton smirk.

"Gertrude...?" Johnny repeated, his voice quivering.

"I'm... okay..." Mama said weakly. "We just need to get home, soon..." She coughed up a bit of greenish blood. "Very soon..." Her red eyes were beginning to fade.

The tears of Toast's pain became tears of sorrow, and now they fell. He gulped. "I... I won't let you die."

"I'm kind of thirsty... Do you have any water, John?" Mama Acachalla asked drowsily, a smile plastered on her face. She fell over in a heap.

- - - - - - - - - -

I know what happens in my own story, and even so I was a little sad typing this.

Ouch. :'D