Survival

It All Happened In A Blink

~We've drifted apart
Because you kept pushing me away~

I don't bother with her anymore. The little bubbly bright blonde sister I've known to love over these years of my life has changed tremendously.

She no longer has yellow hair that'll even beat the sun in a brightness contest, but black, short, very short black hair. Without permission she cuts and dyes it behind our backs. She looks like a boy, especially with the new clothing choice. Goodbye forever 21 and Aeropostale, hello boy section of Macy's and Old Navy.

Gothic. Darkness. Death.

It's all she will ever talk about now, she gives no hugs and I don't even remember the last time she laughed. My attempt to keep her happy failed big time. I don't know if it's just a phase of a 14 year old or she actually just hates me out of the blew.

I wondered if all her hate came along because I was getting adopted and she wasn't. I told Mrs.Harrison in private to let Alex come with me or just cancel the adoption all together, but that's when I found something in the girl's room, she wasn't even trying to be discreet with it.

She has a calendar that tracks when I'll be leaving. Yes, I'm serious. She crosses off the days until it gets to the day I'll be adopted by the Smith's.

The day that says bitch be gone.

So here I am now 90 crossings. 3 months later. Permanently a Smith.

I hugged Mrs.Harrison and all the other foster kids goodbye. Pamela, Joshua, and Fred left the foster home. Pamela and Fred got adopted by the same family and Joshua was dying to leave this foster home so bad that when it struck 12 am on his 18th birthday he snuck out. We've never heard about him since, although Mrs.Harrison knows she just doesn't want to share the story.

But we gotten new kids over these three months. Ashley, Natalia, Kim, Will, and Justin. They're wonderful, they've kept me afloat these past three months because I honestly thought I was going to sink if I didn't talk to someone either than Mrs.Harrison.

Kim is like the big sister I never had and Natalia is like the little sister I wish would stay the same. We were the three musketeers, the trio, a bond that'll never be broken.

We've gotten so comfortable with each other that we shared our stories on how we got to where we are now. Natalia, pretty name, but her father was intoxicated during the day of her birth. The Social Services agent think he meant to put Natalie, but he was so drunk he messed up. Her birth certificate looks like it was done by a four year old. Her mother even after giving birth became a drunk again, bottle cans, bottle glasses every where in sight in her house. It wasn't till she was seven when she came to school drunk that Social Services decided to come get her.

Kim who will never again go by Kimberly was raped by her own father. Drunk. Once her mother left her father's feelings ran loose, he couldn't handle her not being here. He felt lonely. He wanted a woman's touch again. He wanted her mother's touch again and Kim was the closest to it. During the rape he constantly kept saying "Kimberly I love you, don't ever leave me. Kimberly you're mine." She's been raped by him 5 times, his work of keeping it undetectable became sloppy the 5th time when he decided to do it in the car parking lot outside of her school before letting her go.

I wasn't ready to tell my story and I don't think I ever will, it may not be as bad as Kim's, but it was my story that made me cry ever single time I tried to say it. I wasn't as strong as Kim no matter how many times I tried to tell myself I am strong. They've respected that I wasn't ready and we left it alone ever since.

I smiled weakly at Alex who wasn't paying attention to me no how, she was texting her boyfriend Ricky. When she brought Ricky over to the foster home I remembered a conversation we once had

"I'm never going to get a boyfriend" She said with high hopes pointing her nose in the air smiling. I smiled back

"You seem so sure of it" I lightly tugged on her chubby cheeks

"That I am, the love of my sister is all I need. We can live in my Barbie Dream House when we both get older, you'll be an Astronaut Barbie and I'll be a Doctor Barbie."

"Sounds like a deal" I went in for a hug and she accepted like the sweet little sister I missed so much

So deep into the past memories I went to go in for a hug now.

"Stop! What are you doing?" She shoved me hard making me lose my balance. I fell onto the wet cold grassy ground and with no help from her at all she just shoots daggers. I quickly got up and brushed the dirt off the front of my pants and struggled to get the back

"Nothing" I muttered

"Alex! Apologize" Mrs.Harrison yelled then helps me brush the dirt off the back of my pants

"She tried to hug me!" Alex yelled back

"Apologize now or you're grounded"

It took her a few minutes to say it but she said it and I think that's improvement even if it was technically forced. She went back inside and stomped up the stairs angrily still texting that Ricky. I don't like him, never had never will. He's a bad influence.

"She hates me" I whispered, my voice cracking

Mrs.Harrison always tries to find the bright side of things, but there wasn't a bright side. Alex truly hates me and no amount of charisma from Mrs.Harrison can fix that and I was right, she ignored me.

"Alright kids let's go back inside, Karla needs to leave"

But I've been proved wrong many times before as well. "You're her sister, her only sister that saved her. She doesn't hate you"

"Then why can I feel the burning glares on the side of my head" I looked up to the window upstairs and saw Alex still staring at me with hatred

She puts a hand on my shoulder "Teenagers have phases. Yours and still is, is to keep Alex safe"

"Right" I muttered looking down

She lifts my chin up "Chin up, back straight, and eyes front. Stay humble, stay positive and have a wonderful life Karla, come back and visit us anytime."

"I will" I smiled showing teeth this time

"Much better, don't leave those pearly whites hiding for so long"

If you keep hiding, your true self will never be found

I took a deep breath and got inside the Black Volvo. I've been searching and wanting to get in for so long, now the time has come, but I didn't picture it like this.

"Bye everyone!" I said as I waved out the open car window when we began to drive off. My new journey awaits, hopefully a fun one.

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Hey everyone! Did you like it or did you like it? Haha XD oh but I know, the horror! Alex has gone bad! But despite that it's good, right?

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Bye peeps thanks for reading!

Sincerely yours,
--Dreaming--Angel--