Chapter 14 I fucked up again it's all my fault:
I fell asleep while watching Spike TV after 10 cups coffee and He's still not here.
I woke up to the sound of the front door closing.
I sat up on the couch rubbing my eyes.
The TV was still on and my half empty mug was sitting on the coffee table.
I looked at the clock on the wall; 1:09 AM.
I sat there for a moment trying to wake out of my hazy state.
Edward walked into the living room and sat on the edge of the coffee table directly in front of me.
"Finally deicide to come home did you? Did you have a fun?" I asked him.
"It would be impossible to have fun without you." He stated in a serious tone.
"Then why were you gone so long?" I asked.
"I was thinking. Why, did you miss me?" He asked.
"Thinking about what?" I asked ignoring his question.
Truth was I actually did miss him; a lot.
"I'll answer that question if you answer mine."
"Fine, no I didn't miss you." I lied.
"Are you sure? I was gone for long time."
"I'm sure."
"Very well, I was thinking about you." He replied.
"What about me?"
"Just you in general."
We sat there in silence staring at each other.
"Why'd you lie to me?" He suddenly asked breaking the silence.
"I didn't..." I said confused.
"Yes you did; Jeremy told me."
I ran my fingers through my hair and bit my lip.
Why the hell did Jeremy tell him?
"Is that why you drank all the coffee? He asked gesturing to the mug beside him.
"Trying to sober up before I got back?"
That was exactly what I was doing...
I opened my mouth to say something but couldn't think of anything to say.
"I wouldn't have been that mad if you would've told me." He said.
He's right, I should've told him.
I should have known it would only make things worse if I lied.
But I did lie, like I always do.
Just add pathological lair to my list of problems.
I felt tears stinging my eyes.
Why am I crying?
Because I feel...bad?
Why do I feel bad?
Because.
Because I fucked up again.
I held back the tears threatening to spill over.
I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry.
I bit down on my lip, don't cry!
I stared down at my hands in my lap and felt a tear escape from the corner of my eye.
No dammit, I will not cry.
Too late.
I felt more tears silently fall down my cheeks.
"Trinity?" I heard Edward say.
I looked up at him automatically in response to my name being said.
"Are you crying?" he asked.
"No." I choked out in a pathetic half sob.
"Oh Trinity, I'm sorry." He said.
He moved to sit on the couch next to me and pulled me into his arms.
I wrapped my arms around him and sobbed into his chest.
I'm crying; this is the first time I've cried in...years.
"I'm sorry darling; I didn't mean to upset you." Edward said.
"You didn't." I mumbled into his chest.
"Then why are you crying?" He asked.
"Because I feel bad." I said.
I pulled away enough to look at him, "I shouldn't have lied to you, I shouldn't have even done what I did in the first place and I'm-I'm sorry." I said.
"It's okay, I forgive you. It's not a big deal everyone make mistakes." He said.
"But I keep screwing everything up." I replied.
I buried my face into his chest again.
Edward leaned back so he was lying down on the couch with me on lying on top of him.
He rubbed my back soothingly as I continued to cry.
