Two weeks later:
Its been 2 weeks since Leila passed away, Adam has barely slept and when he does he wakes up screaming. He keeps having bad dreams since his mom passed away, he's lost so much weight too he won't eat. I walked into the kitchen and made some lunch, I made pasta for me and Adam. I was in two minds whether to make Adam some but he needs to eat. I picked up the plates and went into the longue, Adam was sitting on the floor papers strewn everywhere. He was planning Leila's funeral, Neil and his dad were getting better. They had come off the machines and were just being observed now, they knew Leila had passed away. I put the plate on the table "babe please eat your pasta, you're going to make yourself ill" I said putting my hand on his shoulder. He turned round and took a few mouthfuls, he turned back to the paper everywhere.
I ate my pasta and watched him, he was so distant now I knew he wasn't dealing with it very well. Organising stuff seemed to be his way of forgetting it, I felt for him but he had seemed to forget how to do everyday things like eat. He barely said anything now and as for Paisley he didn't play with her anymore. I felt like he was slipping away, and I was loosing. It seemed that his get up and go had left when Leila did. "Adam will you eat please!" I said I was starting to get impatient. "Later im busy" came the reply. I sighed and picked up the bowl and threw it in the bin, I went upstairs and into Paisleys room. I stood over her cot and watched her sleeping, I stroked her hair as she opened her eyes. "mama" she said. I smiled her first word was mama, that's so cute! "Clever girl Paisley" I said smiling at her and reaching into her cot. I picked her up in my arms and placed her on the floor. She picked up a ball and rolled it to me, I rolled it back and she caught it.
I heard the front door shut and Adams car drive up the road. I picked up Paisley and walked downstairs, I looked at Adams list for Leila's funeral most of it was ticked off. I gathered up the paper and piled it on the table, Adam had left his phone on the side. Hours passed and it was starting to get dark, I looked at the clock it was nearly 1 am. Adam wasn't home.
I was laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling, I couldn't handle anymore of this. His disappearing acts, not sleeping, not eating and the way he was so distant. What happened to for better or worse, that was long gone. At 3 am I heard the front door slam shut, I stood at the top of the stairs and saw Adam stumble in. He fell up the stairs and just stayed there, great now he was drunk that's a great way to deal with things. I had given up with him, I left him where he was and went into Paisleys room I sat on the beanbag near the window and fell asleep. When I got up in the morning Adam wasn't on the stairs he was sleeping on the bed, he looked a right state. His hair was sticking up in all directions, he had dark circles under his eyes. I walked into the bedroom and pulled out mine and Paisleys suitcases as quietly as I could.
I packed up my clothes and stuff and went to make a start on Paisleys things. Once I had finished I picked up my phone and rang Lydia, "Hey girl, you alright?" came Lidys voice. "Lydia can me and Paisley come stay with you for a few days?" I asked. "Why what's happened?" she asked. "I need to get away, I will explain it all to you when I get there." I said. "Yeah sure you can stay, Tommy is visiting his mom and dad for a few days anyway" Lydia said. "Thanks girl you're the best" I said putting the phone down. I put Paisleys pram and carry cot in my car and went to grab our suitcases. I picked them up and stuck them in the car, I headed back inside to get Paisley.
I went into Paisleys room and picked her up, I put her in the car and went to shut the door. Adam appeared at the top of the stairs, "Where are you going?" he asked. "Im going away for a few days, why?" I replied. "You cant go" Adam said his eyes meeting mine. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, "im sorry but this is the way it has to be, you're not the same man I married." I said matter of factly. "I am the same man, I don't know what you mean" Adam said grabbing my wrist. "No you're not, the Adam I married didn't disappear all night, he ate and looked after himself." I started. "I mean look at you Adam, there's hardly any of you left. You don't even bother with your own daughter anymore. you're so distant, the man I married didn't go out all night and get drunk" I finished. He gripped my wrist tighter, "You know I've got lots going on now, you cant leave me I wont let you" he said. "Get off my wrist you're hurting me!" I shouted. He didn't let go, "don't leave me Lola I need you" he said tears filling his eyes. "Yes and me and your daughter need you, but you don't even know who we are anymore. You turn nasty when your drunk." I said.
He continued to grip my wrist, I pulled away from him as he put his face near mine. The smell of alcohol was overwhelming, I turned round to walk away from him but he pulled me up the step nearly pulling me over. "GET OFF ME!" I shouted at him the decision was hard enough as it was but he was starting to get annoyed. He grabbed both my wrists and clung onto them, "I wont let you take my daughter away from me!" he said. I pulled my hand away from his and pushed him away, "I SAID GET OFF ME! WE ARE OVER ADAM! WHEN YOU SORT YOURSELF OUT THEN YOU CAN MAYBE CALL ME!" I shouted at him as he sank to the floor. I flung the door shut and ran to my car, I stepped on the accelerator and sped up the road my eyes streaming..
