Adam's Point Of View
I had decided I wasn't staying in this hospital any longer. They tried to get me to stay, but I knew they couldn't without mine or Lola's agreement. As I left the hospital later that day, Lola drove us home and unlocked the door. As I stepped inside I saw glass shattered everywhere, I couldn't believe I had done that. I sat in the longue like Lola told me as she started clearing up all the glass. I heard her say something but didn't think anything of it, I heard her go upstairs. She appeared in the doorway and sat in the chair she was flicking through a telephone directory, she found a page and handed it to me. "ring them" she said handing me a phone. She used my full name I wasn't arguing with her. I rang them and booked an appointment for tomorrow at 12, Lola wasn't too bothered. She is being really off but I don't blame her, after everything that's gone on she's bound to be a bit funny. Maybe this is the one thing our relationship can't get through. I felt my eyes shutting, not sleeping was starting to catch up on me.
It was a cold, dark night and a low fog hung in the sky. I saw a car drive past, it was my moms. My dad and brother were with her, I looked down at my watch it was getting on for midnight. I watched as they headed for a corner, a lorry appeared from nowhere he was gaining on my parents car. As the car slowed down to go round the corner the lorry didn't slow at all. I watched as the lorry struck my moms car as the car flipped through the air and rolled down a hill. I ran after the car and slid down the hill, my mom was calling my name I reached out to her and she disappeared through my fingers. "Nooo" I screamed as I ran up the hill to the phone box. I heard an engine start behind me, I turned round to see the lorry driving towards me. I ran up the road, the fog closing in around me. I kept running and tripped over a rock and fell into a giant spider web, the lorry was getting nearer and nearer. I waved my arms around trying to get out of the web, I screamed as the lorry was centimetres away from hitting me. I felt someone shaking me and calling my name.
My eyes snapped open as I saw Lola's face near mine, my hair was soaked with sweat and my heart raced. Tears streamed down my face as I shook with fear. "Its ok baby it was just a nightmare" Lola told me wrapping her arms around me rocking me like she did Paisley.
The next day:
Adam is asleep still, after his nightmare he took ages to get to sleep. I knew I had been silly considering leaving him, he needed me now more than he ever did. I had to be there for him, I couldn't just get up and leave. He has a counselling appointment today, it was only 10am he still had a few hours. I left him asleep on the bed and went to go feed Paisley, she was getting on for 3 months now. She was growing up so fast, I put her in her highchair and mashed up some banana for her. She liked mushy things now, she still had her milk but she liked banana. "Mama, dada" I heard her saying I looked over at her she was putting banana in her mouth with her hands. "Messy girl" I said stroking her hair. I stuck some bread in the toaster and boiled the kettle, I poured out some tea into 2 cups. I turned up the radio, can't let you go started playing. The toast popped up as I buttered it singing along with the radio, Paisley was smiling in her chair kicking her legs to the music.
I put some toast and a mug of tea on a tray and picked I up, Adam appeared in the doorway. He was rubbing his eyes, he looked so tired. "Oh hey I was just coming to bring this up to you" I said putting the tray on the side. "Awesome thanks" he said sitting down on the chair. "dada" Paisley piped up from next to him. "Hey baby, you clever girl" he said smiling at her. "Nana" she said holding out her banana covered hands, "You are a messy girl" Adam told her picking up a towel. He washed her hands and her face, she smiled up at him her blue eyes meeting his. I leant against the side watching him with her, maybe the man I married was still inside somewhere.
I put my plate in the sink and washed it up, as I turned back round Adam was sitting eating toast and reading the paper. He's doing well, after 2 weeks of not eating he's finally eating something. I could tell he was struggling but he kept going until he had eaten it all. "Im so proud of you babe, I cant believe you ate the whole lot you are definitely getting better" I told him. "hmm my body doesn't seem to agree with that" he said rubbing his stomach. "It will get better you know, you just need to give it time" I told him. "Yeah but it doesn't stop me feeling sick whenever I eat" he replied.
2 hours later..
"Lola come on we are going to be late!" Adam shouted up the stairs. "Yeah alright im coming, I had to change Paisley" I shouted back. We were going to Adams counselling session, I ran down the stairs as I followed Adam out the door. He sped up the road and we got to a lot of office buildings. "This must be it" he said. "Yeah looks like it is, you ready?" I said. He took a deep breath, "as ready as I'll ever be" he said getting out. We stepped inside and were greeted by a young man with glasses. "Hello there you must be Adam, My name is Marcel" he said shaking Adams hand. "hmm hi " he said "this is my wife Lola" he told him introducing me. "Hey there" I said shaking his hand. "Please do come in and take a seat" Marcel gestured towards the room. I followed Adam and sat down next to him, "So what brings you here?" Marcel asked.
Marcel listened intently as Adam expalined his mom dying, him smashing up the house, not eating or sleeping and taking the pills. I could see it broke his heart to admit he was struggling, I dont think he wanted to admit it to himself. It broke my heart to see him hurting like that but I was glad he finally admitted it. "It seems as though you have mild depression" Marcel said. "And that's bad?" I asked. "Well it can be if it progresses, id recommend seeing a doctor. They can prescribe tablets and coming to these counselling sessions will help" Marcel said. "How long is it going to take to sort it out?" Adam asked. "It all depends, when the tablets start to work it should get easier. Also having a group of people around can help" Marcel said.
Adam shook Marcels hand, "see you in a week" he said. "Yeah awesome thanks" Adam replied. I shook his hand and pushed Paisley out in her buggy. I put her pram in the boot and strapped her into her seat. Adam climbed into the drivers side as I slid in the other side. "You know im proud of you don't you?" I asked him. "Hmm yeah I know" he replied he didn't seem to believe it. We drove home in silence, I decided I needed to talk to him. I needed to tell him what I had told Tommy, I just had to find the right moment. As we went inside Adam picked up the phone, I watched as he dialled a number and walked into the longue. I shrugged my shoulders and took Paisley outside, I put her in her play pen and sat and watched her.
As I looked up at the sky, I watched the clouds drift past. Adams face appeared above mine, "Hey Lola I've just got off the phone to my dad, they are much better and they are helping plan moms funeral. I'm going to ring the doctors now" he said. "Ahh awesome I'm glad, oh yeah once your done I need to talk to you" I told him. "Erm yea sure" he said as he walked inside. About 5 minutes later Adam was standing next to me, "you wanted to talk so talk.." he said kneeling down next to me.
