The Assassin of Madness

Chapter 24

Rose found herself lifted out of her funk as the ball began. The Doctor had not followed her back to room, as she had expected, but she'd heard the TARDIS singing in the back of her mind. She'd pushed her off, telling the ship she really wasn't in the mood to be cheered up.

The TARDIS gave her Wolf a frustrated hum and flounced off in a mental huff. Rose sighed and stayed in the room until Rowina knocked on the door again and pulled her out to the ball. She was to be introduced with the Doctor, and they'd be hailed as heroes.

She sighed heavily and fluffed her skirts out, looking into the mirror for a moment. Well, at least she looked alright. She followed Rowina to the ballroom where the Doctor was waiting, freshly suited in a tux and looking a little flustered. Rowina grabbed her arm and shoved it through the Doctor's, forcing them to be much closer than they had been in awhile.

They wouldn't make eye contact, but Jack gave Rowina a wink, knowing that maybe this was something that would help them. The TARDIS seemed to agree.

The doors were flung open and they were introduced by a loud voice as "Sir Doctor and Dame Rose Tyler, the heroes of our beautiful planet!"

Those already at the ball turned around and applauded them vigorously. Unconsciously, she gripped his arm a little tighter, growing a little crowd-shy. She smiled but held onto him as though he were the last thing in her life. And of course, to her, he was.

"Are you alright?" He asked around a smile.

"Yes," she said, grinning and not making eye contact with him. "There's a lot of people here Doctor."

The urge to drop a kiss to the top of her head was almost unbearable, but he settled for squeezing her arm in his, enjoying the tiny bit of contact, absorbing it like a dying man grasping to a sip of water. She was his Aphrodite, his Fortuna, and she no longer favored him. Deep down, he knew that was all his fault. He'd been deprived of her for what felt like ages, even though it certainly hadn't been that long, especially with his life span.

She held onto him all the way down the stairs, careful not to stumble, as the applause continued to sound. He gritted his teeth and leaned towards her. "They'll expect us to dance the first dance together," he hissed, trying not to inject the tenderness he was planning on, would have done before all this mess started. She would certainly not appreciate the sentiment, not now.

"Okay," she said, sounding and feeling just a little bit weak. The music swelled up, the orchestra sensing that the guests of honor were ready to dance, and he turned her, sweeping her into his arm, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other holding her hand.

He wanted to look her in the eyes, be able to hold her gaze for as long as possible, as he'd been able to before he'd made a mess of everything. He heard the TARDIS trying to prod him into kissing her, doing something. To him, the ship sounded desperate to force them together. He shouted at her in his mind and regretted it when he felt the TARDIS recoil in hurt. He flexed his fingers against Rose's waist and sighed, looking over her head.

They were quiet, but not uncomfortably so. What was uncomfortable was the fact that Rose kept trying to glance into his face like she was trying to memorize him. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, the very idea hurt the Doctor. He would remember her forever, fighting to not let the precious memories of her fade.

"Look at me," she murmured finally, her hand stroking over his shoulder.

It was that gentle phrase, with her peaceful resignation that told him she'd accepted that he was going to leave her and knew he would not comply with her wish. He was unable to refuse her, turned to stare her in the face. He felt his hearts lurch into his throat as his eyes met her soft one.