The Lasting Days Of Samantha Piper

3- Dear Trevor

"Your heart is the size of an ocean. Go find yourself in its hidden depths."
-Rumi

TROY's POV

9: 15 AM

There are ropes in this world that offers help- the one that you see when a volunteer tries to save a trapped person inside a deep excavation.

But that rope I saw last night, that was no help.

. . . . . . . . .

I remember Mrs. Piper calling an ambulance after the tragedy we had witnessed.

I remember how I rushed into the vehicle and follow the medic up until the local hospital.

I remember how I am hysterically calling my mom and trying to tell her that I am probably going insane that I might have imagined Samantha Piper committing a suicide.

I remember every bit of the scenario- the sirens, the panic and cries, the swarm of people hurrying up to the waiting room all eager to see Samantha, and most of all...

... I remember my own sob as I stormed out of the room when the nurse told us that it was too late and all things are fatal.

I remember it all like it was a knife burying itself to my head trying to bleed my insides over and over again.

---<*>---

Lying on the floor in just my boxers, I never imagined how frustrated I am for not seeing things like this could possibly happen.

Somehow, I managed to get up from bed.

Picking clothes from the closet, tying my shoes, eating a spoonful of oatmeal- they all look pointless to me now.

I'm just staring at my room's blue-coated ceiling not knowing what to do next... maybe mom is right... I should still attend to the scholarship interview. Or maybe she isn't because she never knew what a great loss Samantha was to me.

I would just screw up the whole interview with my condition right now.

Shocked?

Delusional?

Sad?

Mourning?

There's too many words for what I am feeling right now.

On all that, most is blankness. It's like quarter of my brain decided to finally shut down and never wake up again, the same feeling when you exposed your body to too much ice... numbness in pain.

Dammit!

Dammit!

Dammit!

Samantha is gone.

Forever.

She's not coming back. She's not...

How? How could I possibly head onto an interview with people asking about my future when a part of my very future is finally dead? How? I never have used too many curses to myself before except now. I feel like I deserve them.