Wishing for those Moments, Over Again

Chapter 5 - Louis' Birthday Party

*Sunday*

My eyes fluttered open to the well known sight of my room, as I regain the consciousness in me the cool air can be felt on my face; the duvet covered my entire body.

Remembering the late hours of last night, I raised my left arm from under the duvet so it can come into my eyes' vision. The blood was dried in abnormal patterns on my forearm up to my shoulder, I sighed tiredly raising my right arm to trace the cuts with my fingers. Reluctantly, I sat up in bed, the morning light shining through the windows in my bedroom.

"Shit." I cursed under my breath realizing it is a Sunday today. I buried my face in my hands; bracing myself for the day ahead of me with my Dad home and all.

The morning routine was carried out; making the bed, going to the bathroom where I washed off the dried blood and brushed my teeth, and washing my face. Once I returned to my bedroom, I sat on my neatly made bed; the sound of my Dad snoring can be heard through the wall which separated our rooms from one another.

Standing up I walked over to my desk, reaching for my notebook; the one I write my stories down. Grabbing a pen I returned to my bed, criss-crossing my legs and opening the notebook.

***

The silence in the room was nice, my Dad was no longer awake; I can't hear him snore anymore. Occasionally I heard doors close and shut, I stayed in my room for most of the day. Maybe today might not be bad, if my Dad continues to forget I'm here.

"Alice!" A male voice roared. I guess I was wrong.

The next few things happened quickly, too quickly for my mind to register. Stomping of footsteps rang through the small house, becoming frightened I threw my notebook and pen onto my desk from my bed. I backed up on my bed as the stomping grew louder. The door of my bedroom busted open to reveal my so called Father; mad and intoxicated.

Streams of tears came from my eyes out of fear from the events which occurred, flashed in front of my eyes. He stomped to where I was. He grabbed a handful of my hair causing me to cry and yelp, he threw me against the bigger desk in my room, which caused me to fall against the carpeted floor. He kicked my stomach numerous times; whimpers and cries left my mouth. Telling him to stop was useless, he doesn't care about me.

Heck, he wouldn't even care if the sky was falling right now. He is too far and deep in the madness in his mind, addicted to something that made him angrier; distracting him from all that was once important to him. As I thought of his actions towards me, it reminded me of, me. I guess we are all addicted to something that takes away the pain.

I curled up in a ball on the ground as he continued to kick me over and over again. For what seems like eternity, he finally left my room after he cussed me out, leaving me crying yet I still can't feel anything but the burning of my body which he caused.

Laying there and crying on the carpeted floor was somewhat peaceful, just to let the demons in my head run free along with the tears which ran from my closed eyes. No clue in my mind of how long I was on the floor sobbing. I just want it to stop. Screams left my mouth in pain of the kicking; echoing off of my bedroom walls, whimpers escaped too between the cries.

I want to feel something else but this all the time; the numbness of the sadness, and the madness in my life. Some people out there have it much worse than me; however the unwanted thoughts my head take over every night. My eyes are closed yet the tears still manage to slip out, darkness slipped over and I no longer have any memory of anything anymore.

One day I'll be at peace, for good.

***

*Monday*