Written 4/11/16
Zaida POV
I cried myself to sleep last night, I haven't cried in so long. I spent years crying, so much I thought they'd completely dried up. It wasn't what Justin said, I couldn't care less what he says he's probably a crackhead like Marcus's mom. What made me upset is my realization of my situation. I will never see Marcus again. I will never get married, willingly I mean. I won't ever be able to continue my music. I won't ever fulfill my dreams. If I can't kill Justin...I'll kill myself.~3 Days later~
Justin POV
I hurt, emotionally and physically. I've broken my poor baby. She won't smile or talk or eat. She just sits there and does as I tell her and I hate it. As much as she frustrates me with her attitude, I'd do anything to get backhanded or cussed out. I just miss her. I'm starting to lose hope. I can't make her love me..it's just not going to happen. If I make a deal with her and she promises not to out me I can let her go. I'll just watch from a far like before. She deserves everything in the world, she deserves happiness. I am not her happiness. We're like night and day; too different.Zaida POV
I lost track of how many days I've been in captivity. I have no motivation. I just mope around or sleep. I need fresh air, I'll ask if I can go to the garden to clear my mind when he comes into check on me in about 10 minutes."Justin..can I please go down to the garden? I can't be in this stuffy room anymore." I ask
"Of course. You know I'd do anything for you." He responds joyously.
He leads me to the garden and is about to follow me to the fountain but I stop him.
"Do you mind if I just hang out here..by myself for awhile?" I look at my shoes.
"I guess." He sighs in defeat and walks back inside.
I stay out until night. He doesn't even bother to come get me, I just go in and up to bed myself.
I do that every single day for the next week.
Sometimes I think about drowning myself in the fountain or hanging myself from the shower curtain but then Marcus comes to mind. I have to fight, I have to get out of here. For him.
Justin POV
It's like she's absent minded. Everyday is the same, she eats breakfast and asks me if she can go outside. It's like she's not even here. On top of that, my urges have come back. I picked up some random whore on my way from town to get Sour Patch Kids for Zaida.When I torture the whore, I feel nothing. No emotion comes to mind. I hate it. I've gotten used to Zaida making me feel complete, now the one thing before her doesn't even work. I didn't even bother with the whore, I just shot her when I was done. I disposed of her instead of displaying her like art. I think I feel ashamed.
Zaida POV
I feel better. The more I think of Marcus the more I think of my freedom. I thought of a new plan. I'm going to remarkably recover slowly over the course of this week and continue being nice and obedient, then refer back to the original plan. Genius.
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MAD
FanfictionMAD /mad/ adjective 1. Mentally ill; insane "He said he'd go mad without me, only he was before I even met him."