The Dating Club

Party Tricks, Pirouettes and Pathetic Fallacy

Chapter Fourteen - Party Tricks, Pirouettes and Pathetic Fallacy


Pathetic Fallacy: n.

The attribution of human emotions or characteristics to inanimate objects or to nature; for example, angry clouds; a cruel wind.



Alfie helps me into the taxi and we drive to our destination - Doncaster Dome - in comfortable silence. But I cannot keep the same excited grin off of my face.

     Ice skating.

     Ice skating.

     Ice skating.

     "Seriously Jess, can you please calm down? You're kind of worrying me," says Alfie, a small smile forming on his lips. I try and keep still, realising that I'm jiggling my legs.

     Ice skating! Ice skating has to be my favourite sport. My Dad bought me my first pair of skates when I was only six years old, and almost immediately I was hooked. It was a sport that I did with my mother, however - my dad encouraged me to do my karate, my mother my ice skating.

     Whenever I think about skating it brings back memories of her - her painting. "Skating is like art, honey," she said once. "Paint a picture."

     "I don't get what you mean," I whined. She smiled and tied the laces on my pink sparkly skates.

     "The ice is your canvas," she said.

     Gosh, is it a good thing that being with Alfie makes me think of my Mum? Surely that can't be a good thing.

     "I'm guessing you like ice skating a lot then?" He says, glancing out of the window at the Dome. I see the building come into view through my own window and I feel my grin widen.

     "Well, you must know - you found these," I say, holding up my skates. They're gorgeous - a beautiful pair of white boots with black laces and a thin blade. They were a present for my fifteenth birthday, but I've never tried them on. Like the restaurant, there are some places and things I have neglected since my mum passed away.

     "Well yeah, I asked Marissa what things you were into and she said ice skating. She said you had your own pair of skates and everything, so I thought we could try that out."

     I smirk a little at his words. I may have a little more than one pair of skates. Half of my wardrobe is dedicated to ice skating, and I still own several leotards and dresses for skating competitions, from when I was younger.

     "You know, you're the first guy that's actually tried to find something to do - that I would be interested in myself," I say, and he shrugs modestly. "I thought it would be pretty cool anyway, and I've always wanted to learn to skate."

     "Wait, what do you mean?" I say, my heart sinking. "You've never been ice skating before?"

      "No, but there's always a first time for everything," he says.


     It always amuses me when I see people on the ice rink for the first time. I know that sounds really bad, and I've been through their situation myself so I can't really speak but I can not help but laugh when Alfie falls over after being on the ice a mere five seconds.

     "Hey, hey, hey! Don't laugh, that's mean," he says gruffly, trying to stand up and slipping over again, falling onto his butt. I offer to help him up but he waves me off and I purse my lips to stop another giggle escaping.

     The rink is nearly empty, but it is probably explained by the fact that Alfie has booked one of the late night sessions. It all seems very romantic, which I find a little funny and awkward at the same time. I'm not really a sucker for these kind of situations, like Marissa is.

     Alfie carefully hobbles over to me, an expression of annoyance clear on his face. "Show me how to walk, to save me further embarrassment," he says. I bite my lip. Teaching has never been one of my strong points, and I get frustrated easily. I can be quite impatient.

     Well, here goes nothing, I think.


     It's not as hard as it seems. After carefully helping Alfie limp around the rink for a bit he takes matters into his own hands and pushes me away, and tries to glide across the ice on his own. He doesn't do too badly, and only falls over a few more times before he finds the courage to go a little faster, and even tries going down the slope to the side of the rink.

     I try not to show off too much... But I find that I enjoy myself so much that I can't help but slip back into some of my old dance routines and moves. Alfie has to grip the edge of the rink to stop himself falling over in surprise when I suddenly slide past him, pirouetting in the centre of the ice. I finish by spinning on pointe, and then fall and turn sharply, skating backwards slowly.

     "You're... amazing," he breathes, struggling to stay upright, and I grab his hand before he falls again.

     I sigh, and shake my head. "So I can do a few party tricks. But it's never going to come in useful..."

     "Party tricks? Jess, that was ace!" He says incredulously, throwing his arms up and almost toppling over again.

     I laugh and turn to skate again, and he follows a little unsurely, and we go around the rink a few more times before the whistle blows for us to leave.


     We exit the dome and stand outside awkwardly, and I rub my hands up and down my arms and shiver with cold. The weather has taken a turn for the worst, and icy wind slashes at my face and makes it hard to hear, and I have to hold my hair tight to stop it going in my face. Then I feel something hard hit me and it begins to rain and hail.

     "Brr... It's a bit chilly! What's going on, where's the taxi?"

     "He's just over there look..." says Alfie, pointing a few houses away.

     I shiver again and he grabs my hand and navigates through the cars parked along the road, and we wait at the side of the crossing. Then, when no cars are in sight, Alfie steps out into the road and I follow hesitantly.

     But there's something wrong, something in the corner of my eye, and a roaring noise.

     "Alfie stop!" I shout, and he turns and frowns at me. "What? I can't hear you!" he shouts over the sound of the deafening wind and rain.

     There is a moment when everything slows down and freezes almost.

     Then the motorbike slams hard into Alfie and I scream.

....................................................................................................................................................................................