The Dating Club

Familiar Faces, Familiar Places

Chapter 22: Familiar Faces, Familiar Places

Nathan drops me off by La Mezzoluna, and rolls down his window to talk to me. "Be careful Jess. You don't know what he's been through. Don't get angry..." He notices my expression and back tracks a little. "Don't get too angry," he compensates, and I crack him a small smile.

     "Ill try and be fair," I say, and he nods.

     "Do you want me to pick you up afterwards?" he offers, but I shake my head.

     "It's not too far from my house, I can walk," I say, and he rolls up the window and drives off.

     The time is nearing five and it is already dark, the sun not hiding behind clouds but having already set. I pull my school blazer closer to my body and start to walk towards La Mezzoluna, heading around the back of the restaurant to a small passageway almost entirely covered in wiry weeds and bushes left to grow, uncontrolled and wild. I duck under a few branches until I can see the suburban houses behind, their gardens filled with rubbish and old sofas, windows broken and front doors chained shut.

     God knows why we thought it a decent place to hang out back then, I think to myself. I was certainly a strange child. But the people in these houses were the people I trained in tae kwon do with, and the people I visited when we went to La Mezzoluna every night. I knew these people before I knew Marissa and Luke.

      I kick back some nettles with my foot and I step over a broken bottle on the floor, walking calmly towards the small children's park where I see Luke sat, detachedly on the only remaining swing in the area. Graffiti decorates the climbing wall and fence, reminding me of the time Luke, Marissa and myself scratched our own names onto the side of the slide in the corner of the park.
I wonder if it's still there.

     "Our names are still there, on the slide," says Luke, as though reading my mind. "On the slide near the firemans pole... I checked before you arrived. Although someone's written "I love Brittany" over it."

     "Hmm," I say nonchalantly, sitting on the floor beside Luke in the place the second swing ought to be. I can't ever remember there being more than one swing in operational use if I'm honest.

     "I went to visit Alfie the other day. He was in hospital again. Told me he missed you and wanted you to visit him."

     "Did you go with Parma?"

     He is silent for a minute, squirming in the seat. "Kind of," he says eventually.

     "Kind of?"

     "She was seeing someone else."

     "Hmm," I say again, and it is then that Luke turns to look at me.

     "See, this is it. There is so much you don't understand about her. You probably don't know the first thing about her-"

     "And I don't want to!"

     "But you would see her so differently if you did..."

     "I don't need you to tell me that you're in love with her now, I got the hint a long time ago."

     "That's the thing! I know so much about her. But that isn't to say that I like her."

     I stop midway through speaking again to turn to look at him. "Wait a minute... You don't like her? You two aren't actually... Out?"

     Luke mumbles something under his breath and rubs his eyes. He looks tired and defeated, a lot like me.

     "I wish this hadn't happened. I'm not sure how it happened, but I didn't mean for it to do this. I only wanted to make you jealous..."

     "You what?" I say, confused. Luke groans and steps off the swing, sitting down opposite me.
 
     "I saw you dating those boys, Jess, I saw it all. You have no idea... No idea how painful that was/ Because I've liked you since the beginning, Jess, since the start. Since you punched my face in on the first day of term, year nine. Since we sat next to each other in the nurses office. You told me to trust you and I tried to but it was so hard! And Parma offered me the solution. She said, "how about your pretend to date me, to make her jealous". So I went with that.
But I began to find out things about her, you see. Things that meant I couldn't leave. It's hard to explain..." Luke trails off, looking at the ground.

     "So she tried to manipulate you too," I say. When I see Luke's face frown in confusion I add, "she didn't tell you about the dating club?"

     "The film?"

     I laugh shortly at hearing him make the same mistake I did. Then I set about explaining what happened. I start from the beginning - the letter, the threats, meeting Matty, the dates...

     Then the party. I stop here, remembering how Luke watched it all unfold and yet did nothing. He doesn't say a thing but it's clear that he too remembers and maybe even regrets what he did.

       "So you got 'forced' to go on these dates... Yet you carried on seeing them when you didn't need to?" Says Luke, not accusingly but in more of a puzzled tone.

     "Marrissa is dating Matty and my dad is dating Nathan's mum," I say wearily. "I can't really help but see then most days now."

     "You were with Nathan earlier," he points out, and I shuffle my feet on the floor.

     "You can't say anything. You had a choice and I didn't. And you hurt me, badly. I don't know why I am even here, it's not as though I want to forgive you."

     "Please Jess, Ill do anything. I promise to be a better boyfriend. A better friend," he corrects himself, and I wince with embarrassment and look down at the ground.

     "This sucks," I say, sitting on the floor and picking at a piece of the flaking Tarmac on the floor. Luke stands back on the swing and pushes himself off of the ground. He then jumps off and stumbles across the ground, trying to find his footing.

     "Something funny?" he says, grinning, and I shake my head. "No, I was just remember when you did that and broke your arm after you fell backwards off the swing and we had to go to A&E with you."

     "Oh yeah, I remember that," he says, going red with embarrassment. "That was ages ago though," he finishes.

     "No it wasn't it was last year you ninny," I laugh. He sits next to me and picks at a bit of the Tarmac too, and shrugs.

     "See, I really miss that. Can't we just go back to that?" he says, nudging me and smiling. 

     I think back to all the photos of Luke, Marissa and myself that were around my vanity before I ripped them all off, and feel my throat go tight as a wave of nostalgia washes over me. Really - it's only been a few months since everything went downhill, but I do miss it all. I miss having the movie nights with the two of them, and laughing at Marissa's obsession with romcoms while eating popcorn in our onezies. I miss messing about in his vast kitchen baking and throwing flour at each other until we were covered head to toe in the powdery substance. I miss walking home together in the chilly weather whilst I wore his hoodie. I miss all of these things that, now that I think about it, may have made it look like we were a couple to people like Parma, but I never saw it. Does this mean that the whole time, Luke thought about me in the same way that I did with him? The thought is wistful and intoxicating. 

     The sky is now almost pitch black and I shiver in the cold. As if on cue Luke takes off his hollister hoodie and places it over my shoulders and I bury my neck into it, before realising that it stinks of Parma's perfume.

     And then all hopes of us going back to what we once were are suddenly stifled by my hatred of the girl who effectively made my life hell. I know that I cannot go back to being friends with Luke until he shows me that he is true to what he says and proves it. So I shrug the jacket off quickly and I stand up.

     "I'm going to go home," I say, making my way to the gate.

     "Message me?" begs Luke and I shrug again. "You text me first," I say.

     "You text me first!"

     "Nah."

     Luke smirks and sits back on the swing and pushes it backwards and forwards slowly. "I'll catch you later at school, Jess," he says. 

     I begin to walk away and he calls out one more time. "Oh, and text me what you want for your birthday. It's next week, right?" 

     "Yeah, next week."

     "Well text me when you think of something."

     But all I can think of is, 

          I wish things could go back to normal.

          But more importantly, I wish I could find a way to get my own back on her. 

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