Affair PT 3 (COMPLETED)

Letters to E

LEX
-
I watched her rummage through the boxes, it's almost as if James put on a wig.

"Hey...do you want something to eat or drink?" I brought up.

"Um...this might sound weird but a tomato"

"It's not weird. James did that too" I smiled. I went into the kitchen and Teegan was sitting there looking at me strangely.

"What?" I asked going into the kitchen.

"I don't mean to sound bitchy—"

"Language" I corrected.

"But you seem happier. With her"

"Teegs..."

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing! It's just nice to see you like this"

"I'm sorry you feel I'm not happy when I'm with you"

"I know you are! But it's just like you're not missing anything. It's what I imagine you'd be like if James were still here"

I nodded going back to James room.

Evie was on the floor balling her eyes out.

"What's wrong?"

She handed me a small blue book.

"What is this?" I flipped through the pages.

"I think it was his journal"

"He kept a journal?" I read some of the pages and remembered when these things happened.

"Read the last page he wrote on"

I flipped to that page.

Anna is pregnant.
I'm freaking out.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
I don't know why but I feel like if I write the word something will change.
I mean I don't want her to get rid of the baby but it's weird. I'm 17. I'm only 17.
Pregnant.
Still nothing.
I'm going to be a dad, she's going to be a mom. I'm going to have a baby.
Evie. Or Dany.
I'm going to be a dad.
Pregnant.
Wow.
I have to tell Lex. She'll be so upset I'm having sex. She won't be upset about the baby.
I don't think I give her enough credit. People think she's crazy, and let's face it she is but it's because of what she's overcome and what she's doing now.
A fucking drunk slut for a mom.
A dead sick dad.
Leaving home at 18.
Taking me in almost like a son.
And taking in her boyfriend.
I don't think she's treated the way she should be. Sure she's a control freak and is a flip flop but it's because she wants everything to be perfect and she doesn't know what its like to grow up without a flip flop. Not literally a flip flop.

Pregnant.

still nothing has changed. It's unreal.

I'm going to be a dad to a baby who needs me.

I can't be an idiot anymore. I don't even know how I'm going to tell my girlfriend.

I'm excited. I'm grateful that a wonderful person raised me,and hopefully I can raise my kid like Lex raised me.

Pregnant.

DAMNIT NOTHING!

To my kid:

I don't know if you'll be a boy or a girl. I hope you're just healthy. I'm excited to meet you and maybe I'll give these to you when you're older but I'll write a note for you every day. I love you, I haven't met you or seen you but I love you. There's just something about you that makes me smile. When we meet I know you'll be perfect, with heartbreaking looks. I know you'll do great things in life, and I hope I'm there to see it. I'm excited to know you. I love you. More tomorrow.

xx

dad.

06/04/13

I looked up at Evie.
I smiled closing the book.

"What now?" She looked at me.

I thought about it.

"You're welcome to stay?"

"No. I mean knowing I having another family who's more like me than my moms family...I can't just forget about you"

"You don't have to, I could use an extra baby sitter" I smiled pointing to my stomach.

"Oh good you're pregnant" she laughed," I though it might have been a tumour"

I laughed.

"Do you know the sex yet?"

"Nope. There's actually 2"

"Twins. Fun!"

"Yeah so now I have 2 sets of twins"

"who?"

"Zander and Teegan"

"Oh. So I have cousins!"

"Yeah. You might have met Zander"

"No. My mom was shunned by Andrea. I've never met Brandon, or her husband"

"Ex-husband"

"Oh they broke up"

"Yeah"

"Oh...I wish I would have met him. Anna talked about him and said he was sweet and kind but he was wrong for Andrea and belonged with a girl named...Lexi? I think I can't remember"

I smiled at the floor.

"What? Do I sound stupid?"

"No. Kian. His name is Kian and um...I think I'm the girl she meant. I'm lex, not Lexi. Close. But we started dating when I was 17 and he was 19. We moved to Hawaii together and I got pregnant then he cheated on me with Andrea and got her pregnant. It's just a bit complicated"

"Wow you should write a book!"

"I did...I'm a best selling author. Kians an actor. That's why there was a black van following us because of paparazzi"

"Oh...that's so cool"

"Evie. I know we've only just met and we don't really know each other but it'd like to know you. I want you to come over for holidays, you Anna and your little sister"

"Oh..."

"Is that weird?"

"No! No id love to it's just...I've never been to a family holiday. I have a real family now"

"Well you have a baby sibling whose the father?"

"adopted"

"Oh...that's so cool"

"Yeah"

"You'll always have a family with me"

"Thanks"
She smiled the same way James did when he Was trying not to cry.

She's a mini James.