Smoke and Mirrors (Sebastian Michaelis X Fem!Reader)

Rather Fond of

Your P.O.V.:

I walked into the study, rather calmly. I now had a plan. I didn't have to kill Sebastian. I could just capture Ciel and Sebastian would probably rescue him from the Ferros right away. I sighed and decided to go with that plan. I grabbed my switchblade and for once I was shaking while approaching my target. The knife was only just in case- a backup plan in case he wouldn't come willingly. "You really mustn't wake him." I turned to see Sebastian look both upset and a bit angry. "He's rather quite exhausted. While I was away, my young master was forced to entertain all the guests." He walked closer to Ciel and I knew I couldn't do this. I loosened my grip on my knife, seeing this mission as a bust and hopeless. "That's taxing enough, but he took great pains to keep anyone from learning what had happened." I hid my knife behind my back and felt an enormous amount of guilt wash over me. "The excitement has worn him out." Sebastian then quietly apologized to Ciel so as to not wake him. I focused on Sebastian's face and I felt awful, he had a conflicted and rather angry expression on his face. He seemed to be unamused and saw I was hiding something. I felt a little sick and I was confused as to what I should do. "Miss? You look confused, is something wrong?" Sebastian then made his way over to me and I felt even worse. "Perhaps it'll clear things up if I told you that I listened to your entire Clandestine phone call." He grabbed my chin forcefully, but then softly caressed my cheek, "You're such a lithe figure, and a heavy scent of death rises from your perfume. But still, I admit the Ferros chose well, hiring you as their assassin. You played a good game, using innocent Lady Elizabeth to infiltrate Phantomhive manor." I gripped my knife tightly. "To be honest I'm rather conflicted." Sebastian continued as if I said nothing which annoyed me, "This explains your awkwardness at tea today." I don't know why, but the assassin in me took over and I started to move my knife closer and closer to Sebastian's chest. He stopped me though and smirked at me.

"I'm glad I decided to give you a private tour. It enabled you to find your way to this room, where I can easily dispose of you, with no one noticing. " I dropped my knife then, I had feelings for Sebastian, and what he was saying, it cut deep, to say the least. I felt like such a crybaby today, mainly because today was too much to handle. I tried to get away before the tears spilled, but Sebastian gripped my wrist very tightly. It hurt. A lot. I made no noise though, I just tried to get away, but Sebastian wasn't going to let that happen. "Why, wherever do you think you're going, Miss?" Sebastian seemed like he was ready to kill me, that was until Ciel asked if he was sleeping. He attended to his master and I wiped my tears quickly as my breath hitched. I felt like I was going to pass out from the stress. I turned around when Ciel addressed me and Sebastian spoke for me, surprisingly. "She's come to offer her thanks." Ciel stood up from his chair, "Oh, I see. Well," He walked towards me and apologized for me being kidnapped while I was there. I trusted these people and betrayed them. The least I could do was take the young Earl's hand to show I forgave him when I didn't even necessarily blame him for my kidnapping. Sebastian had left us and Ciel led me to a dark room that eventually lit up to show the Phantomhive household and a few other guests with Elizabeth at the front yelling 'Happy Birthday'. I felt awful, I didn't deserve their kindness at all. I walked towards them as Lau made a comment that I didn't really pay attention to. Soma of course complimented me on how I looked and Elizabeth looked as happy as can be. Elizabeth and Ciel got these people together. Then, Sebastian whispered in my ear and made me feel worse about what I did. He was being a bit cruel in my eyes. "My master and Lady Elizabeth have been secretly planning this all along, a special surprise party for your birthday. Naturally, I assume the date you gave Lady Elizabeth wasn't your real birthday at all. Today has become a celebratory day, nonetheless. Not only for Lady Elizabeth but the entire Phantomhive household as well." A servant then called to Sebastian and I turned to see a huge cake.

All of this was overwhelming. Sebastian talked about how he hoped the cake would be memorable, but my mind was elsewhere. I hated myself. Today was my actual birthday, unbeknownst to Sebastian. And unbeknownst to most people, that day was the anniversary of both my mother's and my father's deaths as well. Today was a good distraction until I started to overthink. Overthinking tended to be something I did a lot of while at the guild's base, especially when I was alone. I always blamed myself for my parents' deaths. I felt as if I'd hyperventilate, but somehow I didn't. I was snapped out of my thoughts of my betrayal of this household when Lizzy, if I even have the right to call her that anymore, told Sebastian to sing. Sebastian was singing and I was watching and listening until he paused as if waiting for my age, I looked down quickly and whispered, but no one heard, not even Sebastian, I think. I looked back up and Sebastian kept singing and smiling as if nothing bad had happened between us. For some odd reason, that killed me. The fact that he was acting as if I didn't do anything made me upset. I did something terrible and he wouldn't even acknowledge it. Everyone then clapped and I stood off to the side. Everyone was socializing, but I was an exception. I didn't really want to be talked to. Sebastian came over with a slice of cake, which changed my silent situation into one where I had to speak.