Angelic

Ev ~ 23

WARNING: this chapter contains graphic details and images of death. Read at your own risk.

...

By the time I made it outside of the institute, a dozen scenarios had already played out in my head. The hopeful ones were the first to run through my mind--maybe a messenger from the Consul was here to tell me I could back to Germany again or Warner had decided to take a trip to New York and had brought his grandkids. But then I realized how dumb that would have been--no one was coming to bring me home.

I didn't know who would be waiting for me. I couldn't think of anyone that wouldn't just walk right into the institute and find me. Once I realized that this person was more than likely not a Shadowhunter, I uncoiled my whip, keeping it at my side in case I needed to defend myself.

Once I was at the bottom of the institute steps, I realized I was the only one out here. I wondered if Magnus had been joking, wanting an excuse to be alone with Alec, or if the person waiting had changed their mind and left.

But then I saw a shadow from across the courtyard. The person's shape grew more detailed the closer they came. Moments before I saw their face, I saw they were holding something in their arms.

When the figure walked out of the darkness and I could see the details of their face, my heart skipped a beat, the way it did the last time I saw him. He didn't look as happy as he did the last time I saw him, though. His eyes were sunken into his face, as if he had gone several nights without sleeping and had spent his time crying--did vampires cry?--instead.

"Raphael!" I exclaimed, taking a step toward him, but his words stopped me.

"Ev. Please." I had never heard him sound so desperate before, so grieved. "Stay where you are."

At first I was confused. I said as much. "What's going on?" My eyes moved to the thing he was carrying. It wasn't a thing--it was a person. They were small, obviously a child, and had the features of a girl. What was he doing with a little girl? "Raphael..." I couldn't keep the fear from my voice. I hoped he hadn't killed her. "Who is that? Why is she with you?"

"Just stay where you are, okay?" He asked, his voice shaking. Why was he acting so weird?

He didn't wait for me to respond. Instead, he took a few more steps closer, so that more of the moonlight was shining on him, and set the sleeping girl down. I really hoped he hadn't bit her.

Multiple things happened at once then. Raphael ran over to me, standing by my side in a second, slightly blocking my view of the girl. I looked over his shoulder and the moment i looked at her face, my stomach folded in on itself. I knew those small, red lips--those long eyelashes--that pale face--that beautiful long blonde hair--I knew those hands, so unfamiliar without paint on them.

It was like everything was happening in slow motion. My hearing became muffled, my sense of time became disoriented. Every emotion that I had felt in the last five minutes had been sucked up, leaving me completely numb. All I knew--all I was aware of was that body. Raphael tried to keep me from running to her, but I pushed past him, falling to my knees beside her. I gently picked up her head, cradling her in my lap. At first, all I could do was run my fingers down her face. I had to touch her--I had to feel her--to believe that any of this was real, not just some nightmare.

And I did, and realization settled in--this was real, this was as real as the day I had met Warner's grandchildren for the first time, or the last day I ever got to spend with them--and it was like I was being crushed by a falling building. I was falling off of a one hundred foot cliff and I had just now hit the water--and nothing about it was bearable. It was like I watching a movie. I could see the scene play out in front of me, and I felt what I was supposed to feel, but the person holding Lizzie Wershing's body wasn't me. I heard a loud pitched noise that sounded far away. It took until my voice was hoarse that I realized the loud pitched noise was a scream--and it was coming from me. Then the tears came. They didn't fall slowly, one by one. It was like they were all racing to pour out at the same time.