Pick Me Up

'The Failing Frisky Few'

I never thought it would come to this.

Sitting in the most well-known bar, 'the Mojo', with my best mate Lily, scribbling down potential lines to make the boys go 'woo'. Yes, you heard right. To possibly seduce a man with one line. But not any man - The man. The perfectly pale skin, blue eyed, God sent from above, beautiful creature by the name Phil.

I know, the names a downer. What good looking man goes by the name Phil? But trust me, he is the one for me. Him and his rotating wardrobe of checked polo shirts and various pairs of the same coloured slacks.

Me being Deanna - a 23 year old women who looks like an eighteen year old, who acts like a thirteen year old. Who is slightly overweight - no not the 'curvy' over weight, the 'there shouldn't be a roll there' type. I'm not the slightest bit sexy (Although sometimes I like to think I am), I'm pretty tall, if you consider five-foot-six a reasonable height. And I'm pretty damn average looking. Blonde hair, blue eyes and probably the best thing about me; dimples. Which is actually a muscle deformation.

So why am I - another face in the crowd - looking to throw a one liner, an ultimate hypnotizing sentence, to captivate the man of the Mojo.

Well, after countless years of waiting, hoping that he would suddenly realize I actually existed, I thought, maybe I need to do something so he knows I'm here, without being completely weird.

And after a quality discussion that went for about three hours, Lily (My better half) and I decided. What would be better than chucking a one liner that would immediately show my sense of humour and stunning personality then a pick up line?

So here we are, a honey skinned beauty who is also above the natural weight but has one of the most prettiest face and personality I have ever seen, and a below average girl who has never been on a date, who avoided guys for years - unable to talk to them due to awkwardness- Sitting in a bar, with a list of potential lines to ready myself for my Number 1 - Phillip Revenu.

"The best way to make sure you are ready for Phillip is to be ready in yourself." Lily muses. As we sit on the coach after another discussion of Phillip, where the writing of the lines began. Of course she wouldn't be nervous, she has a way with men, sure she has moments, but whatever she does it's in that cute way that guys like.

So we had put on our best outing outfits and set off with big dreams and the smoothest pick-up lines we could find. My best outfit consisting of some ripped black jeans, a top with some stripes and a jacket to hide my love handles.

3 tequila shots after entering the bar and rethinking my decision, I finally, with the help of Lily, plucked up the courage to prepare myself to rethink to prepare myself to do the thing we had decided. So in other words, I'm going to need another tequila shot.

"I'm not ready." I stress as I look down at the list titled 'The Frisky Few'. Dot points accompanied by sentences such as 'Whoa boy are you from France because... Ma-damn', and famous movie lines that really, shouldn't be used as pick-up lines, but, they worked in movies, so why wouldn't they work in real life? Okay - Silly question.

Lily lets out a huff, obviously having had enough with my non-existent enthusiasm. She pulls my face towards her, both hands on my shoulders gripping them tightly, slightly shaking me. From the look on her face, I can tell a motivational speech is coming on.

"Deanna, Deanna, Deanna.....Toughen up." Oh. "You're never going to think it's the right time, you just gotta do it, plus, you'll most likely never see these people again, so what do you have to lose?"