Pick Me Up

Big feelings - Big Pain

Walking to the pub was supposed to be relaxing, the thoughts of talking to Phillip isn't even the thing that's making this stroll unpleasant. That stupid man is. Why did he have to ruin it, god knows I don't want to be embarrassed like that ever again. The bottom of my shoes are glazed with water from the paddles on the sidewalk, the weather seeming to be in a bad mood as it drizzled lightly the entire way here.

Trying to flatten out my angry expression as I approach the pub, but I can still feel the crinkles by my eyes. I then try and huff, or breathe deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth but that does little. The pub doesn't look any different, not that I expected it to, it just feels like it should after knowing its background.

Opening the door I peer around the floor for one man imparticular. And like a moth to light, I find him practically straight away. Leaning against the counter of the bar, talking to who I assume his friends were. Now looking at him, I can hardly see why I was so attracted to him, he isn't ticking any boxes for me at the moment. But does that mean I'm going to stop? No.

Walking closer I can suddenly feel my phone vibrate in my bag, probably Lily or Taylor, but I choose to ignore it, determined to finish what I had first came here to do.

The flor creaks from under my feet but I chose to blame that on the rustiness of the pub and not my weight. But Phillip hears, and his eyes meet mine, his expression which was once amused becomes bored and agitated?

"Oh here we go." He sneers as if he thinks I have come to argue? Slowing my steps I hesitate further, why is he angry all of a sudden. Hearing the disinterest his friends also turn and face me, familiar people that I had seen before. Seen before as I dropped some frisky few lines. My face immediately blossoms, hoping to god they don't remember me from that dreaded night.

"Uh Hey?" I lift my hand up in an awkward way, trying to make it look like I'm calm and casual. But from the small smirks on Phil's friends I can tell it didn't look as cool as hoped.

"Just get to it." He snaps, looking as though he knows what I have come to do and just wants to get it over with. What happened to the Phil the other night?"

Twiddling my fingers I nervously start to mumble. "Um okay...well, I didn't really want to do it like this but," I take a deep breath in, knowing it was about to stop as I ask this question.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date." I rush out, my body tensed in anticipation for the answer. He bored body language pipes out, and he almost lets out a laugh.

"You want to go out with me?" He asks humorously, his finger pointing at himself to make sure that is who I'm talking to, a small laugh escaping his lips. Now knowing that he obviously thinks this is a joke my confidence and courage loop hands and run away.

"Yeah I mean, you don't have to." I can feel the sweat on my back, probably from the embarrassment of all of this. Of Taylor, of Phil, of Phillip's friends, all watching me be rejected.

"Is this what you and Taylor have been doing the whole time?" Now my face shows a different emotion. Confusion, how does he know we have hang out?

"What?" I express my thoughts, the rejection a distant memory as he laughs more, the guys around him joining in.

"Oh this is priceless." He claps his hands humorously as he stares down at me like the little foal.

"What are you talking about?" My confusion now cautious, the look in his eye reminding me of something evil, like a bomb, ready to swipe out my existence. I try looking into his eyes to see here he is getting at, and debating if I should just run without finding the answer.